Making Memories
by LadyLionheart
Summary: When the boy who lived suffers a amensia, who will take him in, and what will happen?
1. Forgetting

The day was cool and getting colder as the sun began to set beyond the horizon, sending the world into deepening shades of darkness, blending the lnes beteween black and white, and creating the shades of grey. The muggle streetlamps were bursting with life around the muggle playground that was abandoned save for one person. A young man that was sitting on a swing with a mildly vaant expression on his face as he swung back and forth silently, as if he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing.

A single look at the black hair, emerald green eyes and the lightening scar would have told any wizard that this ws Harry Potter, the boy who lived. Yet there was something very wrong about the whole scene. His shirt was tattered, bruises lay heavy on the visible skin he had a split lip that was bleeding sluggishly, and a gash across his forehead. Long streaks of blood had stained Harry's soft skin red along the left side of his face, and he appeared to have been starved from how very thin he was.

He sighed a little as he looked down at his bare toes, wiggling them in the soft dirt of the playground, his head tilted a little as if the action startled him. He was waiting, for what he didn't know. He was just waiting, unaware of who he was, or that he was out of the protective wards of Private Drive, or even what he was. He didn't even realize the moment he had company, or that he could be in life threatening danger. He was just waiting.

Nikolai Belkov had the patience to outlast almost anyone, yet when the meeting he had planned hadn't gone down like it was supposed to, he was going to find the famous Harry Potter and teach him a lesson about making people wait to talk to him. Stepping into the park he stared at the man sitting on the swing, not believing what he was seeing. Harry potter beaten?Surely not. the only person who should ever be allowed to beat him up like that was Nikolai, not that he'd ever had intentions to hurt him, despite being a death eater.

Walkng across the grassy area of the park quickly, a dark frown marring his angelic features as he looked at the man. Slightly curly blond hair and icy blue eyes stared at the man. "Potter. What the hell are you doing"He snapped at the boy who lived, looking around them.

Harry pressed his feet harder into the ground to stop the swing, looking at the stranger who'd appeared so suddenly. Looking alarmed, he stuttered slightly."Uh...am I Potter?"

Harry looked both hopeful and a little afraid, his tongue running against his split lip, wincing as he caused himself some pain."Do you know who I am?"he asked his head tilting as he slipped of the swing and studying the other man intently."and how did you appear like that?I didn't think anything like that was actually possible...are you a angel?"

Nikolai stared at the other man, wondering which question to answer first. Of course he knew who the man was. It wasn't every day you had a person survive a killing curse."Harry potter, I am in no way, shape, or form a angel. And of course I know you."He said with a scowl reaching out a hand and wrapping his hand around the golden boy's arm, pulling him closer."We have to go."He added unwilling to stand out in the open, trying to figure out what happened, not when they were both in danger of getting cursed if they were caught talking.

Harry blinked a little, his head going one way then the other as he allowed himself to be drawn to the other man. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't feel scared so he guessed it was alright. He had felt scared when he'd seen the fat boy wander by, calling out the name 'potter' which was apparently him, so he thought if he didn't feel scared, then it was alright.

"Where are we going?"He finally asked blinking up at the beautiful stranger who was, apparently, rescuing him.

Nikolai frowned as he thought about it, trying to decide just that, because there were only so many places to hide him, and none that he was willing to trust. Staring down into Harry's green eyes he wrinkled his nose a little, knowing he was going to hate this, but his lust and need to be treated as a equal by the brunette pressed against him overrode any caution he had about taking the man home with him.

"My house."He said with a slight scowl, apparating them to the two story mansin before he could think better of it. Glad that he no longer shared his home with anyone he reset the wards with a thought, to let no one else but him through. Effectively locking the brunette in the house to. Glancing at the man standing next to him, wincing when he remembered that the man really hated apparating.

Harry reacted like any muggle would to being squeezed and squeezed, jerking away from Nikolai he feel to his knees and retched. Barely managing not to throw up, he dry heaved for a few minutes, trembling violently."w-what the hell was that?"He demanded once he could talk, panting heavily."What just happened?What the hell are you?"

He staggered to his feet as he clung to the nearest object for support, not taking notice that he was clinging to a door jab, or even that he was in a beautiful home. He pulled away from the doorway and held his fists up, ready to start swining if Nikolai made a threatening move."What's going on?"

Nikolai winced at the reaction, sighing softly as he slid his hands into his pockets, a small smirk playing on his lips as he looked at the unsteady Harry Potter, truly amazed that the brunette thought he had a chance of taking on him in a fist fight."I am a wizard, Harry. Like you. And what I just did was apparate us to my home. Though I must apologize because I didn't warn you. I should have."He said easily, keeping his voice low and soothing, not wanting to scare him more.

Harry scowled at the blond, his fists still raised as he examined the other man intently, before slowly starting to relax. Those words DID sound familiar, apparation anyways, though it meant nothing to him it still sounded familiar. "Wizards aren't you take me for a idiot? Just because I don't remember anything doesn't mean I don't see a lie when its right in front of my face." He protested, though he had a bad feeling the other wasn't lying. Even with amnesia, harry was in control, tough and firm, not showing any of the fear or terror he was feeling, because he couldn't afford to.

"I lie about many things potter, but not about being a wizard."Nikolai said, raising a hand, glad that he had taken the time to learn wandless magic because he had a feeling that no matter how unsteady or amenisic the man was feeling, Harry'd slug him if he went for his wand. Shifting his hand he muttered the levitation spell, smirking a little as the vase floated from the table and into his hand."You're a wizard Harry, and I'm Nikolai by the way."He added belatedly, realizing he hadn't introduced himself.

Harry watched, wide eyed with amazement as the vase lifted off the table and into Nikolai's hand. Snatching it from the man's hand he examined every inch of it, clearly looking for wires or tricks before he turned tostare at Nikolai again."That's...that's not possible."He protested staring at Nikolai like he was insane."I..just...your...I need to sit down."He declared, stumbling a little as he held his head. For a moment, it looked as if the golden boy, the boy who'd faced death ten times over and survived, was going to faint.

Nikolai looked at Harry worried, a hand closing around the man's upper arm,"I got , we'll sit down."He said simply as he led the man into the living room, settlng him down on the black suede couch before sitting down next to him, stretching long legs out in front of him, giving Harry a sidelong glance. Looking amused but worried to."I wish I had a camera. If you're going to faint, it needs recorded."

Shooting a glare at Nikolai, Harry punched his shoulder."Shut up, I don't faint and I wasn't about to."He bitched as he rubbed his forehead."I just got a little dizzy that's all...So I'm a wizard?I can make things float and turn people into frogs and brew magic potions then?" Clearly, the golden boy had gotten his sarcastic streak back."Let me guess, dragons unicorns, goblins, leprechauns and Veela real to?"He paused frowning a moment."Veela?...what?"

Nikolai laughed softly."Yes to all of the above. And veela are..."Nikolai paused, thinking of the definition he'd read as a schoolkid."Semi-human, semi-magical creatures like the sirens of greek mythology. They appear to be young, beautiful women, and their appearance and especially their dance are magically seductive to almost all males. However when they are angry they transform into something more like harpies."He said, intoning a teacher's voice, repeating word for word the defination they'd been given as students."And how do you know you don't faint?You could do it all the time and not know."

Harry stared at Nikolai before bursting into laughter."Oh, oh this is . Where are they?They cameras. It's not nice to pick on a guy who has no idea who the hell he is."He complained as he got up, poking around the room to look for hidden cameras or recording devices.

Nikolai frowned as he watched Harry poke around his things, getting up and stopping him. Pulling the brunette against his broad chest he ran his fingers through his hair."If I wanted to be sick, I'd think of something better to tell you than that you were a wizard, Potter."He growled softly, using Harry's hair as a handle to turn his head, lowering his own to press a opened mouth kiss to Harry's lips. Raising his head he smirked, let the golden boy worry about that."Why would I lie to my boyfriend?Things get complicated when you do that."

As much as he wanted the brunette to regain his memories, he was willing to play with fire and try to convince Harry into actually liking him. At least maybe that way when he did remember who he was, he'd be more...open to the idea of a relationship with his death eater spy.

Harry looked startled as the man leaned back from the kiss, looking confused and...a little turned on. He stood there, a little stunned, emerald eyes filled with utter bafflement."So...I.. .can do magic?"He finally asked, deciding to store the confusing emotions away from later, they were best dealt with later.

Nikolai stared down at him for a moment, swaying slightly on his feet as he licked his lips. Wasn't the best kiss he'd ever had, his fear of how the man would react had kept it from being that, but Harry tasted good. Filing the thought away he smiled, having every intent of getting another taste as soon as possible.

Ice blue eyes filled with lust and amusement, he stroked his fingers through the brunette's hair, he nodded."Yes. Would you like to try?"

Harry nodded, looking at the other man rather awkwardly, almost cringing away from the contat but relaxed when he realized the fingers were just carding through his hair, and it felt nice. Harry wasn't used to touching, affection had just hadn't ever been a large part of his life. Even Mrs. Weasley nly hugged him when he showed up for the summer and again when he left, and he still felt awkward then too, though he was always good at hiding it. Deciding to keep his touching issues to himself he smiled a little, it wasn't like he remembered his loveless childhood anyways, so the feelings only served to confuse him more.

"Yes I do I have to do?"

Nikolai frowned for a moment looking down at him, wondering if his body remembered what his mind did not. Resisting the urge to kiss him again he stepped back, giving the man some space, wanting Harry to be comfortable with him."Okay. Simple spells first. Potter...do you have your wand?"He asked, knowing the brunette did know wandless magic, but it'd be easier if they started from the beginning. Shifting back on his heels he studied the man, not knowing how he was going to explain magic to one of the most powerful wizards he'd ever met.

Harry blinked slowly, before starting to search his pockets, pulling out a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, a small charm to ward off small dark creatures, a charm to invoke a person's natural luck, a small quill, and a wand."Is this it?"harry asked examining it."It's a stick. How's a stick going to help me make magic?YOU didn't use a stick."He complained as he scowled at the other man."You better not be screwing with me, I might be small, but I have a hell of a punch, you can ask that fat kid!"

Nikolai started a ittle, wondering if the brunette remembered more than that, a small smile on his face as he summoned hs wand, holding out a hand to catch it."I didn't use it because I thought you'd hit me for using it. And you _can_ do wandless magic potter, you've just forgotten how."he smirked a little as he snagged the box of every flavor beans, starting to eat them. Remembering the one time he'd seen Harry punch someone, Draco'd been wearing bruises for a week. Shaking his head free of the memory he raised his wand amused.

"Okay, yes that's it. Now do as I do."He said flicking his wand."Wingardium leviosa."He said poiting at the vase, raising it off the table before lowering it."Your turn."

Harry frowned as he watched Nikolai eating his candy, rolling his eyes as he pointed his wand at the vase."Wingardium Leviosa."He stated giving his wand a heavy flick, yelping as the vase practically flung itself into the wall, shattering into a million pieces."Talk about your weapons of mass destruction..."He muttered wrinkling his nose at the small piece of wood."Sorry about that."

Nikoli jumped at the sound of the vase hitting the wall, smirking slightly."It's fine. It's not the first time vases have been broken in this house, and it wont be the last."He said gesturing for the man to come close to him."But you are going to repay me for it."


	2. Payments

A/N:I forgot to say last chapter, that I in no way, shape or form earn anything but pleasure from this story, and this was written with Kaya Winn, and that there will be many more stories written with her coming up. Second, this is going to be a maleXmale story, so if you don't like the idea, don't read.

Okay, onto the story:

Harry lifted a eyebrow at the other man, a slow smirk spreading across his face."Sorry don't have any money, but since you were so king to eat all my candy, I guess we can call it even."He stated simply, waving a hand at Nikolai, as if the vase and jelly beans were the same price. Besides he wasn't some dog to come when he was called, he was more like cat, who only came when they were bribed or when they wanted something.

Nikolai smirked back at him, having hoped that pesky little Gryfindor habit of obeying no orders had been forgotten. No matter, he could go to him just as across the room he looked down at the brunette,"Ah, but that vase was worth a small fortune, definately more then a jelly least a kiss or two."He said, looking down at the man, a slight pout on his lips, his good looks had always gotten him in trouble with both sexes, without him trying. Now he had a very good reason to use every well honed Slytherin seduction trick he knew.

Harry smirked a little at the Slytherin, looking vastly amused as he leaned forward."How do I know you're really my boyfriend?"He demanded his eyes narrowing slightly at the other man, looking devious and playful at the same time as he took a almost predatory step towards Nikolai. he reached out and gently stroked the other's man's cheek lightly with his thumb, the action almost romantic had it not been followed by a gently smack.

"You're not getting a kiss unless you take it by force."He taunted turning and walking away again, examining the small pillow before flopping onto the couch as if he owned the place. It was almost as if he WANTED Nikolai to put him in his place, not that Harry would ever 'keep his place', the boy was far to much of a Gryffindor, yet he also had a wicked Slytherin streak. It was just enough to make him highly unorthodox, and highly unpredictable.

Nikolai stared at the wall across from him, though it hadn't been a hard smack, it was a surprise and enough of a one to piss him ff. Smirking a little he turned to face the brunette, taming the Gryffindor was going to be so much fun.

Turning slowly as he rocked back on his heels he did it slowly to show off a body honed as sharp as blade. Long muscular legs were encased in dragon hide pants, a snug black tank top hugged his muscular torso, a six pack outlined by the shirt as he stalked over, leaning over the brunette as he rested his hands on either side of the man's head, a knee between his legs as he blocked the brunette in. Looking as dangerous as a leopard, yet as irresistable. It was like wanting to touch a tiger, and the moment you did you knew he'd rip your arm for it, but it was worth that one touch.

Harry couldn't help but watch Nikolai as he stalked over, pretending he wasn't watching. He was pretty sure Nikolai knew, but that was alright even if Nikolai wasn't really his boyfriend, Harry would find out eventually. In the meantime, he could use a little fun, the day had been stressful and he itched to dig his nails into flesh, and let himself get royally fucked into the couch, chair, table...whatever worked.

"Would I know you like being dominated Harry, if wasn't your boyfriend?"He asked, drawing the man into a kiss.

Harry moaned softly,looking up at him."How do I know that I like to be dominated?"Harry demanded a smirk on his lips as he let Nikolai kiss him, his fingers gripping the other man's shirt and yanking down, trying to rip it open, biting down on the blond's lip as he was kissed.

Nikolai bit him back, pulling away as he looked down at the brunette, tightening his fingers in the brunette's hair, pulling his head back as he moved down, kissing the man's neck."I'm going to show you."He growled softly as he bit down on the pulse point, absently rubbing his thigh against the man's crotch.

Harry grunted lightly as the fingers tightened in his hair, a soft sigh falling from his lips at the bite. Reaching up with slender hands he gripped the other man's hips, trying to force him down, his free hand gripping Nikolai's cock through the dragon hide leather, and giving it a firm squeeze. Harry was definitely not someone who was dominated easily, no matter how much he enjoyed it. Just another part of his charm, and another part that had kept him alive.

The blond moaned his eyes fluttering as he shifted against the touch, but refused to be drawn down closer. Snarling softly he bit the brunette harder slipping away as he loked down at him, trying to decide where he wanted him. Smirking a little he looked at Harry, before pointing to the table across the room without taking his eyes of the other man."Go bend over it."He ordered reaching down and jerking him to his feet.

Harry snorted, amusement lashing in his eyes as he crossed his arms, glaring at the other as hard as he could, while trying to hold in peals of laughter."Make me bitch."he spat back his eyes flashing with the challenge."Go on, try."

Nikolai smirked back, amusement and lust flashing in ice blue the other man's arms he shoved him towards the table, fingers wrapping tightly in brunette hair, glad for once that he was towering over the brunette at lithe 6'6". Pressing the man into the table, he pressed against his back, rocking his hips into the man."You drive me insane."

Harry hissed, sounding like a wild cat as he was flung into the table, a low moan falling from his lips as he found himself pinned, "Mmmm you make me horny."He growled back, a smirk on his lips as he bucked against the other's cock."You gonna fuck me with that thing or are you just gonna rub one off on my ass?"

Pressing Harry's face down into the table, Nikolai snarled softly."Sorry, I was so distracted by how well your ass looked I didn't want to undress."He said holding Harry down as he undid his pants, shifting Harry to slid a hand under his body, giving the brunette a playful smirk as he undid the man's pants, slipping a hand inside, moaning at the feel of Harry in his hand.

Harry moaned as his fingernails dug into the wood under his hands, rocking his hips into the blond's hand."mm..mmm fucking hell you know how to make a guy feel good, but just cause your in my ass doesn't mean I'm gonna listen to you."He stated sternly reaching up with his left hand, grabbing a fistful of NIkolai's hair and jerking, trying to force the other off him."Hmmm thats it, grip it tighter."He ordered, panting hard as if he was in the one in charge, rocking into the blond's grip.

Nikolai growled at the feel of fingers in his hair, pressing Harry down harder, he jerked his head back. He wasn't adverse to being dominated, he was just usually in charge of his sexual encounters. Having someone fight back was a new experience. Keeping his touch gentle on Harry's cock, just because he liked the brunette, didn't mean he was going to listen to orders."You're not in charge, Potter. What are you willing to do to get it harder?Beg?"

"Either grip me harder"He warned, eyes flashing with annoyance, and it was never a good idea to annoy one of the most powerful wizards in the world."or I'll do it myself and leave you with a hard on and no release at all. I'm sure I could figure out magic quickly enough to deny you any sort of orgasm."

Nikolai snarled darkly, gripping Harry's cock harder as he shifted slightly, jerking the man's pants down with a sharp twist of his wrist, going for the better part of wisdom and not pissing off a man he knew could beat him in a due. Shifting his grip on the brunette he stroked him hard a few times, slipping his fingers into the brunette as he muttered a lube spell."Such a bossy submissive. Such up."He growled the order, not really expecting it to be obeyed.

"That's it baby, fuck me good."He demanded pressing back into the hand, "Bite me."He demanded,"Bite me hard, make me bruise."

Nikolai smirked a little as he pulled his fingers out, looking down at the brunette bent over his table he ran his hand down the man's back, not obeying the order. Fingers digging hard into the brunette's hips he muttered another spell, "There. Peace and quiet."He smirked as the spell gagged the man. Casting again he smirked as the vines binded the man to the table as he ran his fingers over tanned skin, "Hmmm a gryffindor all tussed up for my pleasure." He said, stepping back, not touching him. Having every intention of waiting till the brunette was begging.

Harry glared over his shoulder at the blond, shivering at the man's touch as he growled. wondering if he was goig to have to do something rash to get the man to do him.

Nikolai smirked a little, he moved to lean against harry, rubbing a little against the man."Feeling rash potter?"He drawled, pressing against him, and having every intention of driving the man insane.

Harry growled again as he let his head tip back, jerking against the vines as he tried to get free."uhhhf mmff fumf."

Nikolai growled softly, reaching between them, sighing softly as he slid into the brunette, shuddering as he thrust hard into the man, giving into the need to fuck him hard and fast. Tightening his grip in the man's hair he undid the gag, having the need to hear what he was saying."Don't try potter, they'll hold till I let you go."He said thrusting harder when he realized the man was trying to get away.

The brunette squealed as he was entered, jerking against vines. He wasn't a virgin, but he was incredibly tight, having only had sex once or twice. Yet, something that should have been completely agonizing to someone ,was complete bliss for Harry, his head tossed back a mixture of pain and pleasure on his face. "Fucking...jackass...gonna, gonna make you...suffer for this! I'll leviosa your ass so hard...Jesus!Fuck there!THERE THERE!"He demanded pressing back against the other's cock as his world lit p with primal pleasure. Nikolai had found his prostate, and he'd never had the pleasure before."F...fucking hell, waht was that?Do it again!"

Nikolai laughed at the threats, lowering his head to nip at the side of the brunette's neck as he aimed for the man's prostate agin, smirking a little."That, Harry would be your prostate."He said sounding well pleased with himself, lust making his voice husky as he pounded into the man under him.

Harry moaned arching into the man as he panted."Harder, oh god ni."He pleaded softly, trying to buck into the other's thrusts, "Feels so good...gonna cum...gonna c...c..."He groaned as he jerked in the restraints, coming all over the top of the table. Letting out a soft mewl of pleasure.

"fucccckkkk..."The word hissed out from behind clenched teeth as Harry's body tightened around him, a fine tremble running through his body as he came, fingers digging hard into the brunette's hips as he slumped against the man's bck, nuzzling his neck a little, biting down on the skin as he sighed softly.

"Damn."He muttered closing his eyes, enjoying the afterglow of a really good fuck.


	3. cooking

Harry groaned as the other man untied him, raising his head to look at the other man."Get me some ice. My ass is killing me."

Nikolai smirked a little, kissing the brunette's neck before easing out of the an, sighing as his cock slid free, already wanting to be buried in the man again."So demanding."he said amused as he straightened letting the man out of his bonds, "Get your own ice."He added.

Harry snorted straightening up as the bonds were loosened, touching his lightly bleeding ass, scowling at Nikolai, amusement still running through those emerald eyes."So, either you're not really my boyfriend or we've never had sex before."He taunted turning to waddle to the bathroom. Not seemingly too upset about the pain though, and seemed not to care that he and Nikolai weren't dating."You're still a jackass!"

Nikolai rolled his eyes as e walked to the kitchen, retrieving the ice before heading to the bathroom with a small bag of it. Looking amused and slightly confused. Realizing Harry wasn't to upset at the idea. "We've never had sex before."He said amused, and it was true. They hadn't, but not because they were dating, but because when he had his memories, Harry could barely stand to be in the same room with him. Which made him all the more appealing."And you're not the first person to tell me I'm a jackass."

Harry snorted a little, washing his ass as Nikolai walked back in."Yeah, yeah, shut up."He ordered snickering a little."Boyfriend or not, that was some great sex. We'll have to do it again could use the practice." The words almost sounded insulting to Nikolai, as if he needed practice at sex.

"I'm gonna make some lunch."Harry said as his stomach growled, "You go clean up that mess you made on the table."He added, even though it had technically been his mess, it was still Nikolai's fault.

NIkolai snarled softly as he walked out of the room, catching him before he got far, pulling him into a hard kiss. Not overly insulted at the idea he needed practice at sex, if it meant he'd get to do it with Harry again. Willing to put up with the insult for that."I'll cook, you're liable to burn down my house."

Harry smirked a little before scowling."I've been cooking since I was five years old!I'm very good at it."He paused, looking astonished."Hey!I remembered something!"He looked overjoyed about that for a moment. "Anyway, YOUR the one that CAUSED the mess so YOU can clean it up."He ordered heading for the kitchen."Besides your cooking's probably nasty, I bet I'm a picky eater."

"You probably are. Fine. Go cook your own damned meal. And make me something."Nikolai said heading for the living room, wondering why his heart hurt. While he wanted the man to remember who he was, he wasn't ready to say goodbye to his...captive?Lover?

Frowning thoughtfully he cleaned up the mess before heading into the kitchen, raising a eyebrow as he watched the brunette from the doorway. Tilting his head as he watched the brunette hum as he looking through the cupboards and fridge, pulling out a large assortment of items along with the pots and pans to go with it.

"Hey Nik, you're not allergic to anything are you?"Harry asked turning to look at him.

"No."Nikolai said as he walked further into the room, moving to sit on the barstool at the island in the middle of the that Harry seemed to be fine cooking, not sure what he was making, but willing to wait and see."Did you remember anything else?"

"No, not really. I think that memory was triggered by the mention of cooking. It just hit me without notice, so that would make sense right? I don't know much about amnesia. Besides I'm fine with not remembering anything for now. It's nt like I'm someone important right?"He asked smiling a little."It's like a vacation from myself."

Nikolai snorted at the idea of the golden boy not being important. Yet, if Harry wanted to take a vacation from himself, he wouldn't stop him."Yea it was probably bringing up cooking that did it."HE said smiling slightly amused that even if the man didn't know himself, there was still a flair to everything he did that was totally Harry Potter, though his eyes didn't stray far from the nicely shaped ass.

The food was done in no time, as Harry sat a large pot of spaghetti on the table, grinning as he pulled out a loaf of homemade garlic bread."There!"He chirped as he crossed his arms, looking smug indeed."How's that for good cooking?"

"Very good."

Sitting down Harry helped himself to a large helping as the blond did the same, chowing down eagerly."Though I was thinking, if I wath wanting to get my memorieth back thoon, I thould juth go back to where I live righ?"

Nikolai choked on the piece of bread he was eating, swallowing before answering. Wondering how he was going to keep the man from going to his home, yet realizing he couldn't. Sighing softly he nodded."We'll go in the morning. There's no reason to go tonight. It's been a long day, and I have plans for you."He said a playful smirk on his lips. Even nowing he should do the right thing, didn't stop him from thinking about fucking the man into exhuastion to keep him where he belonged. In his bed. He was enough of a Slytherin for that.

Harry paused, a strange look on his face, looking puzzled as well as worried."No...I...I don't think that's a good idea."He suddenly decided."I don't want to go home...I don't know why I just...I get this scared feeling when I think about it."He admitted biting his lip."Let's wait...for awhile okay?You can have more tries at owning my ass."He taunted.

Nikolai frowned at the look on the man's face, wondering what had caused it. Half wanting to head over to have a discussion with his family, but he wouldn't leave Harry alone, at least not yet."What are you talking about, try?I already own your ass Potter."

"You wish, you're just a pansy who likes to think he can tap my ass anytime he wants."He taunted shaing his head."You ain't owned my ass till you can tell me what to do and I do it. Which will NEVER 're just not capable enough."

Nikolai stared at him, fork halfway to his mouth as he looked at the his fork gently down, the movement belittling the anger flashing in his eyes, he reached across the table, fisting his hands in Harry's shirt pulling him half away across the table for a kiss. Pissed that the man had dared call him a pansy. Him, who braved death and maiming most days. Fuck that. Snarling he shoved the plates and bowl off the table, ignoring the sound of breaking glass as he shoved the man down onto it.

"Fuck, you're hot when you're pissed. You're to wind up."Harry taunted laughing a little as he slid his hands over the man's back, scratching down the flesh without even realizing what he was doing.

Nikolai snarled as he shifted to kneel on his chair, looking at the man taunting him, shuddering a little at the feel of nails biting into his the touch of pain to his sex, he looked at Harry, his fingers digging into the man's at all minding being called hot, he knew he was sexy, no matter what he was doing."Only when I'm pissed?"

"Well no, you're pretty hot all the time, but you're hottest when you're pissed."He teased grabbing Nikolai's hair in a death grip, forcing the man's face closer to his neck as the man bit him, letting out a yowl of pleasure, groaning softly as he pressed himself against the man's teeth."Fuck yea...bite me good."He ordered moaning. His free hand reaching dwn to lightly stroke the other's ass, as if he was going to prep him.

Nikolai snarled as he froze under the man's hand, shifting his grip,biting down hard until he tasted blood, raising his head to look down at him."Don't even think about it potter."He snarled, ignoring the painful grip the man had on his hair. He didn't bottom for anyone willingly, and he was damned sure the man knew it. Shifting his hand he pinned the brunette's hands to the table, pressing his hips hard into the other man's.

Harry yowled again, arching into the bite, feeling the drops of blood running down his skin."Ye...yeah. That's it. Oooohhh fucking good."He groaned bucking into the other's hips as he felt his wrists pinned."You say that now."He growled softly arching into the other."But you just wait, I'll top you as soon as your back's turned."

Fuck you."He snarled as he shifted his grip, yanking the man's pants down, undoing his own quickly before staring down at him, with lips tinged with blood."I'd like to see you try."He smirked before sliding into him with a hard thrust, moaning softly. Having every intent of giving him such a good fuck he'd never think of topping again.

"Shut up and kissm e."Harry ordered slamming their lips together, thrusting his tongue inside the other's mouth, tasting his own blood and Nikolai, moaning softly as he bucked into the other man."Fuck me good...gonna fucking own your ass."He growled, egging Nikolai on. If the man wasn't careful Harry might just tie him down and fuck himself on Nikolai's dick, just to prove he was top dog.

Nikolai snarled as he slammed into him hard, making sure to hit his prostate with every thrust, kissing him harshly. Moving away from the man's lips he pressed his head down into the man's neck, biting down hard, not responding to the taunting.

Harry moaned as pleasure slid through his body, sounding more like a animal than a man, the man's fingers grabbing tight onto the other's ass with each thrust, digging his nails in as he tried to force the other to go harder."Nik!Don' be a pansy, FUCK ME!"

Nikolai snarled as he slid a hand down, grasping the man's cock in a hard grip jerking hard as he raised his head."Don't order me around."He growled, even as he gave himself over to his more violent side, slamming into the brunette with all the power in that tightly muscled body. Jerking the man's cock with just as much finesse, staring down at the brunette with lust darkened eyes, anger and lust in that look.

Harry moaned arching into the grip as he tossed his head back, his own eyes filled with pain and pleasure, lust so hot his eyes burned."Fucking hell Nik!"He growled squirming about on the tble."Ahhhh fucking good...thats it baby, take my ass."He demanded slamming his head forward, sinking his teeth into the blond's shoulder.

Nikolai swallowed hard as he rested his forehead on the brunette's shoulder as Harry bit him, sinking his teeth into he skin under his lips shuddering a little. Pained pleasure shoved him closer to the edge, lust burning in his eyes as he violently took the man, barely aware of the table creaking under them, squeezing his eyes shut as he came, shiting his hips to pound against the man's prostate, fingers trembling slightly as he gripped the man's cock.

"YESSS"Harry screamed as he clawed up the other man's back as he came, dragging his nails down Nikolai's ribs, so lost in the pleasure he never noticed he was causing alot of damage to the other's skin.

Nikolai panted as he looked down at the man under him, smiling slightly. Though he got only a moment's break as the table gave out under the. Wincing as he rolled, letting Harry laid on top of him as his blody back hit the floor, wincing a little. Though he couldn't find the energy to get up just yet. Harry yawned as he settled on top of the man, falling asleep as he settled close.

Nikolai laughed softly as he picked the man up, heading upstairs. Pausing to clean them both up before tucking the brunette into bed, crawling in next to him, yawning. To tired to worry about what the morning would bring.


	4. playing

When the morning light filtered through the open window, Harry yawned widely as he stretched out along Nikolai, refusing to open his eyes as he brought up a hand to press against Nikolai's face to make hiim stop breathing so loudly, giving him a hard shove off the bed, letting out a satisfied purr as his tail flopped against the doubt Nikolai, once he woke up enough, would see that instead of a hand pushing him off, it was a paw the size of his face, and when he looked, Harry had been replaced by a slightly emaciated panther. There was a 130 pound cat of pure muscle, deadly fangs, and deadlier clws laying in Nikolai's bed.

"what the fu-"The sentence stopped as Nikolai sat up on the floor, resisting the urge to reach out and touch the soft fur."Potter, why are you a panther in my bed?"

Harry blinked at him as he yawned, lifting a paw to rub his eyes again, before freezing as he took in the sight of his own massive appendage, blinking as he gave it a shake, to make sure it really was his. Letting out a yowl of terror, leaping into he air and lunging into Nikolai with his claws, thankfully sheathed, roaring in his face. Whipping around the panther started running around,clearly panicked.

Nikolai winced loudly and high pitched, wanting his attention as he rubbed his chest from where the panther hit him. Scowling when Harry didn't pay attention to him, he shifted into his own animagius form, his own paws smacking hard into the floor as he slammed into the man. Glad that as a tiger he had a little more weight to throw around. Snarling as he pinned the man to the ground he nuzzled his neck, not liking the panicked golden boy. It was disturbing to see him as such. Shifting back he looked at the panther sitting under him, gently stroking his fur."Come on kitten, be calm."

Harry whined a little letting out tiny mewls of protest when he realized he was pinned, before he relaxed realizing it was Nikolai. Gently butting his head against the other mans' chin, as if begging him to turn him back he started calming down. Nikolai would make it all better, Nikolai knew magic, Nikolai could do anything...

Nikolai smiled a little as he stroked the man's fur "Harry you're fine. Okay?Be calm."He muttered cradling the panter's face in his hands, looking serious."Okay, let yourself be human again. Your body will know what to do, just come back."

Harry whined loudly leaning into him, slowly shifting back into human form as he pressed himself tightly against Nikolai, letting out a tiny sob as he clung to him, naked and uncaring that his entire back was one big bruise, that his neck was splotched with blue and black, his hips bruised in the shape of fingers.

Nikolai gently stroked Harry's body, wincing at the sight of his back, guilt twisting his stomach for a minute as he pressed a kiss to the man's temple, holding him close. Shifting to lean back against the bed he stretched his legs out in front of him settling the man between them, pulling him snugly against him."It's okay ..."

Harry breathed softly, feeling very safe wrapped in Nikolai's arms and sighing a little his hot breath ghosting over the other's flesh."Sorry. I...I didn't mean to panic. I just...don't even know what happened.I couldn't think right, it was..there was all this stuff, all those smells, sounds and feelings I didn't understand..."

"It's fine. I remember the first time I ended up with paws, and I was expecting that. I don't want to imagine what it'd be like to wake up unaware."He muttered kissing Harry's head."You're a animagi. You can shape shift into a animal."

"Animagi?Can I turn into any animal, or just the one?"He asked curious now that he wasn't panicked."And you're one too...I remember it on top of me...what can you turn into?"

"Just the one."He grinned a little. Typical Gryffindor. Be scared, then be curious."A Matlese tiger. Would you like to see?"He added heading off the next question.

"Yes I do."Harry admitted watching the other,"How do you do it?"

"You..."Nikolai frowned at him, trying to think about how to explain it."You just let go of your human self, and want to be animal."He said before shifting away from the man to have room, since the tiger was huge. Following his own advice he let his body slide into that of the tiger, patting the other man with a paw nearly as big as his face.

Harry grinned at the tiger, before picking up the paw on his shoulder, examining the pads carefully before stroking the other's face."You're beautiful."He admitted, before opening the man's mouth and examining the teeth before closing his eyes. He wanted to be a animal again. Letting out a pleased purr when he looked at himself, finding himself a scrawny panther again.

Nikolai yawned a full set of razor sharp teeth flashing in the morning light he stretched, butting his head against the panther's side, letting out a purring cough escape as he stumbled. Yes, he was laughing at him. Yelping softly when he was butted back, wincing a little when Harry attacked his tail. The tail sliding out of his grip as he played. Letting the kitten impulses take over.

Harry crouched low before leaping into the air and down on the wiggling appendage, grabbing it in his teeth before running off with it, only to be jerked to the side when he ran out of length. Whimpering softly when the older tiger smacked him in the head with a paw, pressing to the floor as Nikolai inspected his ass. Nikolai growled softly as he looked at the full grown kitten.

Harry squeaked as he crouched down, really looking like a scolded child. Shifting closer he reached out to nuzle the other's neck, rubbing his entire body against Nikolai's, scenting him and trying to make him feel better. Nikolai snorted laying back down, the tiger's instincts to be alone overruling his usually hot temper. Harry purred loudly as he leapt onto the tiger's back, nipping at his ear playfully, but not painfully as he stood on the tiger's side. Compared to Nikolai, Harry looked like a kitten attacking a doberman.

NIkolai purred a little as Harry licked his face, raising his head to nuzzle the panther's neck, shifting to his stomach. Stretching as he nudged the man-kitten, towering over the panther as he tugged on Harry's ear playfully. Purring at the ear tug for a moment before he decided he was bored, Harry bounded out of the room.

Staring at the stairs he frowned, trying to figure out how he was supposed to get down them without falling. He'd never done anything head first before. He hesitated before walking down sideways, looking pleased with himself when he didn't fall. Nikolai bounded down after him, pouncing on the other man before rolling off. Amused himself, and glad Harry was relaxing and having fun.

Flattening himself to the stairs, Harry hissed before leaping at the tiger, letting out a roar then yelping when he missed the tiger, running into the garbage can instead. Scattering garbage all over himself, and looking very displeased about it as he sat and licked himself. Trying to look regal covered in garbge.

"Potter, look what you did."Nikolai scolded softly as he shifted back, though he was still smiling as he waved a hand, cleaning up the trash as easily as Harry had thrown it everywhere. Opening the backdoor he pointed."Outside before you mess up more of my house."

Harry huffed at the order,continuing to clean himself, his emerald eyes watching Nikolai as if to say, "Bite me." A cat was a cat, no matter how playful and Harry didn't want to go outside. He wanted to stay inside and take a nap in one of the many sunbeams coming in the windows, or maybe he would catch the mice he could hear, or...

Nikolai opened his mouth to respond to the look, but stopped when his arm burned like a branding iron. Glaring down at the darkened flesh of his forearm he hissed, truly hating it, but it gave him the freedom to go where he needed to."Don't destroy my house, and stay inside."He growled waiting for a response as he rubbed the cat's head.

Harry paused as his ears flicked forward before shifting back."Where are you going?What's wrong with your arm?"he demanded as he reached out,taking the others arm to examine it."Nik, I suddenly have a bad feeling...don't go."

Nikolai flexed his arm, wincing a little as he pulled the man into a kiss."I have to. Otherwise I'm going to have Malfoy standing on my front steps and I don't want anyone here. Stay put I'll be bak in awhile."He said brushing his fingers through Harry's hair."I promise, I'll be back."

Harry sighed a little into the kiss, displeased but nodding as he kissed Nikolai's forehead."For luck."He stated simply leaning back and watching the blond closely."Come back soon...I don't like this at all. I feel like if you go...you wont be coming back. Anyway, be careul, I wont forgive you if you abandon me."

Nikolai nodded,"I'd hate to have you never forgive me. I'll be back soon."he said before apparating out


	5. visiting

"Belkovv...We have news. Harry Potter has gone missing."Voldermort said, his usual hissing voice wrapping around the man's name as the young death eater walked into the dining hall of Malfoy Manor.

"And we're to search without killing?"Nikolai said, his voice soudning put out at the idea of not being able to kill Harry. Glad that he was a talented natural actor, otherwise pretending to hate Harry and search for him would be hard.

Drao scowled at the news that Harry'd gone missing as he nodded, already forming a idea of where to look. He knew Harry the best, having spent time learning his habits, all the better to make his life miserable. He should be able to find him first...if he wasn't already hiding somewhere. Glancing across the table at the other spy, he raised a eyebrow.

Nikolai nodded as he made his way outside, as if he wanted to have a smoke before he left. Lighting up he glanced at the man joining him, wondering what woud be better."Don't ask. I don't know."He said enhaling on the cigarette. hating that he was lying to his best friend, but he didn't trust the blond's acting ablities as much as he trusted his own.

"Potter's probably gone off on his own again the stupid git."Draco grumbled, annoyed that he had to spend his precious time searching for the brat."Alright, I have a few ideas where to look. I've always wanted to meet his family, I hear they're horrible people."

"Scare them good for I'll let you know if I find anything."Nikolai said finishing his cigarette before he apparated out.

Chapter

Nikolai stared at the home in front of him. Truly, no pureblooded wizard should live in such squallor. Knocking on the door he smiled as it swung open."Hey guys."

"NikMate, how you doing?"Fred grinned brightly.

"You here for the meeting or just to play?"George asked waggling his eyebrows. They constantly hit on Nikolai, only for fun though, they were more interested in each other than anyone else, not that they'd admit it.

"You're a few hours early mate."

"Fred!Harry's gone missing, drag that sack of shit in here so I an beat him for infomation!"Ron demanded from the kitchen.

"Oh ocme on Ron, you know Nik ain't got anything to do with that."

"He was the last person to see Harry!He HAS to have something to do with it!I never trusted him."

"I came to see how the hell you lost the golden boy. I just got orders to find . What happened?"Nikolai said as he stepped into the kitchen with the twins, glancing at the red head sitting at the table. While Ron was taller, Nikolai was broader and sturdier.

The twins shook their heads."We don't know!"Fred admitted as he sat on top of the table, ignoring his mother's look."We have information that he never left little whinging until long after he was supposed to meet you."

"What?"Nikolai said tilting his head.

"Yea he's never late for a meeting, so we went to go find him, all we could find was a bit of blood, a scraps of his shirt."

"How did you know where he was?"Ron demanded.

"Tracking spell."the twins chorused."Harry gave us permission."

"It only works in muggle areas though, or the magic of other people get in the way."George said.

"So he's with someone who has magic."

"Which could be anyone."

"He clearly didn't leave willingly."

"I'm TELLING you it's NIKOLAI!"Ron raged as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Ron, you have no proof, I don't like him much either but Harry has been meeting Nikolai for almost a year, why now and not before?He's had plenty of chances."She pointed out to her boyfriend.

"I don't believe this!Am I the only person here who knows Nikolai is evil git!Even worse than the damned Malfoys!"

"Now that's hitting below the belt."The twins said angrily together, glaring at their brother. They'd known Nikolai for years, sometimes knew him better then he knew himself.

Nikolai glared at the youngest redhead, wondering how long it would take someone to figure out he only helped because he was attracted to the brunette hero, not because he really cared how the war went. "I'm standing right here. No need to insult me. He wasn't there when I got there."

It was true, the Harry they all knew and loved hadn't been there, but the Slytherin Potter in his house had been.

The twins smirked a little at the death eater, they knew very well how Nikolai felt, it was easy for them to figure it out. They also had been lying, they knew perfectly well Harry was safely behind the Belkov wards. If they found Harr's blood that meant that Harry had been hurt somehow, and besides Harry needed a vacation, if it meant being held captive and forced to lay down it was fine by them.

"Just got a letter from our friend Viper."Mad eye Moody said as he thumped into the room."The dark lord's looking for Potter to, means if one of the dark got him, then they're not telling got anything on that tracking spell yet?"He demanded of the twins shook their heads."Then we'll have to track him the old fashioned way."

"Have we considered the possibility, that Harry left on his own?"Hermione asked."Sure we found blood, but that could have easily been from Dudley beating him up again. How do we know he didn't just run off to train by himself again?It wouldn't be the first time."

"It's better to prepare for the worst and proven wrong, than to not be prepared and let him suffer at the hands of the enemy."Moody grunted shaking his head."We need to look, search everywhere we can. Nikolai, if the dark lord gets even a hint as to where Potter might be, have Viper send us a letter. Don't risk youself."

"I'll let...viper know to send a letter should we find him first."He said slowly, studying the floor. Guilt ate at him for a moment, before he reminded himself that sometimes even Harry needed break from the demnds of being himself."Now, if we're done deciding that I'm a evil git, I have things I need to be doing."Nikolai added as he pushed off the counter, wincing when the female weasel stepped into the room.

"Nik!"Ginny smiled at the sight of the goregous death eater. Like the twins, she couldn't help but hit on him. Sliding over to his side she looked u at him."How are you doing?Do you need anything?"

Nikolai stared dow at her."No, I'm fine."He said before looking at the older auror."You'll let me know if you find him?"

Moody nodded."I'll be letting Snape know, he'll alert Voldermort."He promised."He has orders to inform you of everything as well."

The twins snickered as they took Nikolai's arms leading him towards the door."Take good care of him mate."Fred whispered.

"Yea, he's our brother in every way but blood you know."George admitted, voice so low even Nikolai could barely hear him."He's in safe hands, and he needs the rest."

"See you later Nikolai!"The two chorused as the shut the door in his face.

Nikolai looked startled, at the admittnce that the twins knew where Harry was and that they thought he was in good hands. Shaking his head he apparated away.


	6. coming home

Harry smiled happily as he laid out in the grass, talking to the snakes tht crawled over him, making Nikolai shake his head as he approached the brunette."Potter, didn't anyone teach you not to play with dangerous things?"Nikolai asked in a soft growl to his words.

"They wont hurt me."Harry promised smiling brightly at the other man"Wanna touch one?Come on, they're relly soft."He grinned wider holding up one towards the other wizard."Can all wizards talk to snakes?"

Nikolai twitched a little as he mvoed to sit next to him, careful to not touch any of the snakes. It wasn't that he was afraid of snakes, he just didn't like them."No you're the only one I know of."He said not about to tell him about Voldermort. He leaned over for a kiss wanting one. To get the idea of Ginny wanting him out of his head, he needed to touch the brunette.

Harry grinned a little at the thought of being specially talented as he kissed the man."I made lunch, there's some left if you're hungry. Did you have a good time with your friend?"Harry said as he stood, brushing himself off sounding angry. Or jealous.

Nikolai smirked a little at the tone, even as he winced."Not really. I got hit on by a girl. Disturbing really. And she was redheaded...disturbing."He said shuddering wondering how the Gryffindr had ever dated her. Kissing the brunette again for just being adorably jealous.

"Awww, was she cute at least?"Harry relaxed teasing him. Fighting the urge to laugh at the other man's expense."You know I dated a red head once. Uh...Ginny?Yea, that's right, she was really annoying and clingy, and I think she was stalking me before we dated."He admit shaking his head."I can't relly remember."

Nikolai winced."Yea, we've met. Ginny was her she moved from her obsession with you, to having one for me."He said before he thought about it."Though getting hit on would't bother me as much if she'd keep her hands to not cuter then you though."

Harry turned to stare at him, jaw slack with amazement. "Can I cut off her fingers?"He finally asked, deciding to keep his questions to himself, he'd remember eventually."And no one's cuter then me."He added tossing his nose in the air, as proud as any Malfoy.

"Most definately."Nikolai said as he pulled the man into his arms, running his hands over his body. Liking this side of him, the part that was jealous, and the motion looked so much like the ounger Draco he laughed softly. Leaning in, he nuuzzled the man's neck, biting gently."Nope. There's no one sexier."

harry just huffed before sliding away, looking for all the world like a cat holding a grudge as he walked inside,"You need to go I need more clothes, I'm tired of wearing these rags.I look like a idiot and I feel like I'm drowning."

Nikolai stared at him as he rested a hip against the counter, watching Harry dig through the fridge."Any requests oh lord and master?"He asked every intent of going shopping, but unwilling to go on command to get things. "And you could just go naked."

Harry turned glaring at him."I am not walking around naked. And don't even try it, I'm still mad at you."he complained as he looked for food."Let me all alone in a big strange house with nothing to do while you went out and gallivanted about, doing Merlin knows what and probably having all sorts of fun, and I can't even leave the property because there is a INVISBLE WALL KEEPING ME IN!"

Well, that explained why he was angry. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was being kept somewhere against his will, remnants of the many years of being locked in Dursley's cupboard.

Nikolai winced a little,"I'm sorry Harry. I locked the house s no one could come visit without me here."He said walking close, pulling the brunette back against him, trapping his arms against his sides."And I most definately didn't have fun. Getting felt up by your ex-girlfriend, yelled at by your best friend, and lying to someone I consider a good friend is not my idea of fun!"He snarled letting him go, pacing away.

Hating that Harry didn't remember his day to day life. Because Harry was one of the few people who understood the total lie that Nikolai lived with every day. The only person he told everything to, even if Harry couldn't stand to be with him when he remembered, he was the one person Nikolai trusted his soul to.

Harry scowled as he grabbed a butcher's knife, starting to chop up a steak for dinner."I can't even remember. I know that I'm angry about being locked in, but I can't remember why...I feel as if I'm in love with you, but I can't even remember who you are."He admitted setting a hand over his eyes."I didn't mean to yell at you...I guess I'm just frustrated. And I'm scared you're going to leave, and not come back. That you'll...I dunno die...or find someone better than me. Someone who's not sick or damaged."

Nikolai sighed softly as he shivered,feeling like Harry'd just kicked him. Walking over he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, nuzzling his neck as he pressed against his back. Offering comfort, and taking some."I know you're frustrated. And I'm not leaving. Nothing's killed me yet, and even with the close calls, I'll alwys come for you. And there's no one better than you, potter, it's me who should be worried about being left for being nothing but..."He trailed off, shuddering a little as he squeezed his eyes shut. Knowing the moment Harry remembered, he'd leave. Leave a broken death eater who had nothing left."-but a man who has nothing else."

Harry smiled at Nikolai as he turned, gently pressing a kiss to his forehead."I will never leave could be a mad murderer, a rapist, anything and I would still love you. You haven't hurt me yet, and I don't think you ever have."He admitted, gently kissing the other's neck."I'm sure you have something. I know a hot man like you has to at least have friends...do I have friends?"

"Many."Nikolai muttered resting his head on the brunette's shoulder, thinking. He had the twins...and Malfoy. That was about it. And a sad life that was. Pining after a man who didn't want him, even though he said he did, when he remembered he knew the brunette would leave him. Harry just disliked him to much normally to stay."I have...some. Though I'm not nearly as popular as you."He said closing his eyes as he trembled. Maybe this was a bad idea, but he could take the emotional battering if it meant Harry got to take a break fom a war that was slowly killing him."And how do you know I'm not a mad murderer or a rapist?That was some rough sex last night."

"Please, I've had worse."He admitted pausing mid slice through the meat, flinhing under the memory."...I've been raped...what you did was anything but. I don't like being coddled. And besides I like pain in my sex, sometimes alot of pain."He said flashing Nikolai a smirk."I wouldn't mind it at all if you where even a little rougher, maybe a few shackles...opps, I said that out loud didn't I?Grab that pan would you?"

Nikolai snarled softly at the memory, yanking the door open with so much force that it came off in his at the cupboard for a long moment, trying to figure out how it'd gotten there. Wondering when he could safely sneak out and find out how the fuck the golden boy had been raped.

Harry frowned a little as he realized Nikolai wasn't listening, clearing his throat he turned to look at him annoyed."Now what did that door ever do to you?Have you even been listening to me?"He demanded sulking a little."Of course your not. I was only telling you my kinks so you could better please me, but no Nik has to go into a homicidal rage. Oooohhhh so important."Harry was acting as if the idea of Nikolai murdering someone didn't matter."And in any case I don't remember much of it. I was young...a first year...I'm not sure what I was a first year of though..."

Nikolai laughed softly, jolted out of his anger by Harry's sulking tone and words. "A first year at ."He growled softly reaching out and jerkng the man against him, pulling him into a harsh kiss."And I was listening...I was just preoccupied with the rest of that sentence. shackles huh?When we go shopping, we'll pick up whatever you desire."

Harry snickered a little shaking his head, smirking as he was kissed."I didn't say you could kiss me."he growled catching the other's lip in his teeth and biting down."Bad boy. Can we go shopping after dinner?I really need new clothes and I think all the ones I own are about big enough to garb a baby whale. I don't understand why I wear this."

"Me either."Nikolai gowled softly. As much as he enjoyd being in charge, he liked the random demanding boy who live to much to try and curb the dominate actions. Pulling him in for another kiss, he slid his hands down Harry's back, cupping his ass as he pressed him close."Me either, but I'll make sure you look as hot as me. Well, not as ht. No one is that hot."He added slipping his thumbs into the waistband of Harry's pants, stroking the bare skin under his fingers, whle wondering what piece of furniture would hold up under them.

Harry snickered softly."I'm WAY sexier than you.I'm so sexy even straight men can't resist me."He taunted leaning back into the hands, moaning as he squirmed under the attention."And I swear to god if you break nother piece of furniture with me on it, I WILL hex your balls off. So you better pick the next place you fuck me wisely tiger boy."He growled smirking a little."And why don't you show me what sort of spells I might use on YOU when I remember how, during sex hmmm?"

"You're never going to have to worry about that kitten, cause you're never topping me."He snarled softly lifting the man by his hips effortlessly, his arms ripplig a little with muscles as he wrapped the brunette's legs around his waist, heading for his bedroom, knowing his bed could take the abuse. Smirking as he opened his bedroom door, he slammed the brunette against the wall ingoring his man wanted rough?He could do rough.

Muttering a lubing spell,feeling the slick material coat his fingers as he got them down the man's pants plunging them into him, kissing him harshly, thrusting his tongue into the brunette's mouth wtih the same pace as his fingers.

"a..ahhh...thats it bitch, fuck me good."Harry growled softly, arching into the fingers as he dragged his own harshly against the others shoulders, drawing blood in his passion as he panted, looking pleased with the 'predicament' he was in."Fucking hell you're strong. How does a guy like me get muslces like those?"

Nikolai panted softly,"You can't. You'll just have to worship me for mine."Nikolai said as he pressed his fingers against the brunette's prostate lowering his head to bit the man's neck. Pulling his fingers out of the brunette he growled again, ripping the pants off needing access now, and not about to let the offending material stop him.

Pausing to look at the brunette pressed into the wall, he slammed into him, holding him up with one arm as he fucked the man, fingers tightly on his cock as he looked at Harry.

"H-hey, those were my only pants!"harry complained arching as he pressed down against Nikolai, moaning at the rough handling as he rested his head on the wall."Oooohhh...fuck me, nik, fuck me good."He demanded his nails scratching down the other's chest, drawing blood without noticing.

Nikolai laughed softly, wondering if Harry knew he was using him as a scratching post. Snarling softly he turned himself over to his darker side, that coldly violent part that gloried in wringing every painful pleasured moment from his partner. Fucking him as hard as he could, pining him to the wall, wondering if there was a indent in his wall before all thoughts were driven out of his mind.

Harry yowled as he clung to the man as hard as he could, his nails leaving long bloody marks across the other's back, shoulders, and chest as he was fucked ruthlessly, panting hard. "Yess!"harry cried out as he splattered cum over Nikolai's hand, eyes going wide.

Nikolai whimpered softly as cum hit his chest, the stinging pain adding to the pleasure as he came, sinking to his knees as his legs gave out on him. Resting his head on Harry's shoulder he shuddered as he pulle out of him, rolling away, wincing as his bloodied back hit the cool wood of the bedroom floor. To strung out on pleasure to realize it, but even with the dull ache to his body he knew the moment the high wore off he was going to be hurting. Closing his eyes he sighed, to content to worry yet.

Harry panted hard as he closed his eyes, his body limp as he recovered,eyes fluttering open as the smell of blood finally came to him. Cursing loudly he yanked his shirt off and gently dabbed at Nikolai's body, ignoring his own lightly bleeding ass and heavily bruised back."Sorry Nik, I didn't realize I was scratching you up, you should have said something."He chastised shaking his head as he bit his lip looking at the other before smirking.

"Hey, will these scar? That'd mean I marked you, and that makes you mine."He admitted, feeling pleased with himself.

Nikolai raised a eyebrow as he looked at the man through half closed eyes."First you're sorry about doing it, then wnt to know if it'll scar?"He said amused as he got up."Yea, they'll scar."He said glaning over his shoulder at his back as he headed for the bathroom, before returning with a potion in hand, holding it out to harry."Drink."

Harry blinked at it hesitating, a memory of someone handing him something to drink and the room spinning around and around floated in front of his eyes."What's it going to do to me?Is it supposed to be that color?It wont make me all dizzy will it?"He asked cautiously, trying to recall what it was supposed to be.

"It's a healing potion, it'll heal you up so you can walk, and your back wont be bruised. And yes, its supposed to be that color, and no it wont make you dizzy."Nikolai answered as he pulled on a black wifebeater with a wince feeling the fabric settle on his cut up back with a sigh, tugging on a pair of jeans before walking with some clothes and holding them out to harry."Here, we're going out to dinner then shopping."He said, not in the mood to cook anymore, and wanting to get the man some clothes of his own.

Harry took a hesitant swallow of the potion, grimacing at the taste and shaking his head before handing it back to Nikolai."You should drink some to, you're hurt worse then I am."He stated simply yanking the pants on and drawing them tight with a belt."We need to pick up some groceries to."

Nikolai nodded a little, "After we get some clothes. And something for dinner."He said ignoring what Harry'd said about him being hurt worse. He only had one potion, but he'd pick one up while they were out. Smiling he wrapped his arms around the brunette, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead."I'm going to apparate us okay?It'll only be a minute."

"Am I going to throw up again?"Harry asked wrinkling his nose."I don't like apparation. Never have...Hey!I remembered something else."He chirped grinning victoriously before shaking his head a little."Anyway where are we going shopping?Will there be other wizards?"

"Probably, and I'm happy you remembered something."Nikolai said before stopping. Thinking it through. He lived in London, well the outskirts anyways. It would be easy to get to Diagon Alley another way."We're going to Diagon Alley, and no, we can drive."He hesistated, not liking the idea of leaving the sports car downtown, but it would do."And there's always other wizards there. Do you want to go somewhere else?"

Harry hesitated as he followed Nikolai down to the garage, scowling a little."Diagon Alley...yes, that's where I got my wand!And my owl Hedwig!"He chirped brightly before pausing."I wonder where she is...anyways, it sounds fine to me, maybe I can pick some books up. I get bored sitting in your house all day. Espicially when you have to go to work, o meetings, or whatever you were doing. And some snacks since you ate all my candy."

Nikolai laughed, shaking his head."Whatever you want sweeting."He said as he slid behind the wheel.


	7. Shopping

Nikolai shifted a little, his stomach in knots as he drove, which was doing nothing or his already foul mood. Worry about what was going to happen was giving him issues.

"Hey Nik."Harry said, suddenly breaking the silence between them, "You belong to me you know that right?"He growled possessively.

Another Slytherin trait coming to the surface, it was clear he wasn't going to stand for Nikolai trying to leave, sleep with other people, or even try to break up with him...but how could Nikolai know that he'd still be like that when he remembered everything?

Nikoali gave the other man a side long glance, pain ripping his heart apart even as he smiled. Parking as he pressed a kiss to Harry's head."Yeah, I know."He whispered, trying not to think about what would come. Sighing as he got out of the car."So, where first, dinner or clothes?"

"Clothes.I feel a need."Harry admitted flashing a smirk to Nikolai as he headed for the Leaky Cauldron, humming a little as he walked inside. Heading for the brick wall naturally, like he'd been doing it for years...oh well, he had. No one turned to look at him as he walked through, he'd long mastered the art of 'turning people's eyes', it was technically a dark arts skill, but Harry used it when he didn't want people gaping at him. Not that he was remembering to see it, he just did it naturally, a reflex. Not even aware that he had done it.

Nikolai followed amused to see the world's savior doing dark magic, shaking his head thoughtfully he tapped out the brick pattern to open it, grinning at the look on Harry's face. "Welcome Potter, to Diagon Alley."He said slipping his hands into his pockets as he stepped through the opening.

Harry gaped as he looked around, his eyes wide,feeling as he had the first time he'd walked through. Staggering he put a hand to his head as he leaned against the wall, his breathing ragged as a swarm of memories came to him, making his head pound."Okay...that hurt..."He admitted rubbing his head a little."I'm okay!"He promised as he was dragged into a nearby store, sorting through the memories.

"Are you sure?"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were worried about me."He teased, snickering a little as he sat on the bench near the door."Really, I'm ine. I just got a bunch of memories, faces and things I bought, and crap. Not very helpful any way...Nik, why did you bring me into a dress shop?An ugly dress shop...if I was going to wear a dress, these would not be the kind I'd be wearing."

"I know you wouldn't, but its quiet."NIkolai snapped as he looked around Madame Melkins, "And you jackass, of course I was worried."

Nikolai growled softly as he dragged the man towards their actual stop. Feeling out of step with things, not sure what it was about the brunette that put him off step. Walking with him he headed for the clothing store, stepping into the store that catered to the younger generation with a mix of wizarding and muggle clothes. "Buy what you want."

Harry smirked a little as he bounced into the store happily picking over the clothes with a eagerness that was almost frightening. He had a flair for fashion that no one but another Slytherin would understand, and that would have shocked Harry if he'd remembered everything.

"Going shopping Nikolai?"Drawled a familiar voice over Nikolai's shoulder as he stepped into the room,"You shou-"The rest of the sentence was lost as Draco got sight of who he was shopping with.

Nikolai cursed softly as he stepped in front of the man, blocking is view before shoving him into the dressing room."Don't even think about it. You didn't see him. You tell either of them I'll forget I actually like you and bury you so deep they'll never find your body."He threatened, because Harry needed the rest, he wouldn't think twice about burying the Malfoy heir.

Draco's eyes went wide before he smirked a little."Keeping Potter for yourself, huh?"He teased worming free of Nikolai's grip. He wasn't afraid of him, he'd stood before Voldermort on a daily basis. Even if Nikolai killed him he wouldn't torture him."Relax, I wont tell if you don't want me to. I can even lay down a few false leads about Potter being in Italy or something."He said looking out through the door as he watched Harry examine a pair of boots."What are you doing with him here anyways?In PUBLIC of all places?You should have known someone would catch you."

"I know I know, but I couldn't very well keep him locked in my house. I brought him because he wanted clothes and..."He stopped, realizing he'd been careless for no other reason then Harry'd wanted to go shopping."Go lay your false trials Draco, I need to get him out of here."He said walking out, slipping a hand under Harry's arm."Kitten, we got to get check out, and go home. I'll come back for the food."

Nikolai swallowed as he looked around, rubbing his eyes as he headed for the cash register, worry on his face because he didn't know what Draco would do. Even knowing his friend would most likely not say anything, had said he wouldn't, didn't make him trust him more.

Harry blinked startled as he was dragged towards the cash register."But...Nik, what's wrong?"He asked looking around, frowning when he caught a glimpse of blond hair as Draco ducked out of the his head a little he pulled out a bank card and handed it to the lady. It acted like a muggle's bank card, tied to his vaults at Grinigotts. He wasn't sure how much he had, but hey, he could alwys make Nikolai pay for the rest of it. But he did, and plenty to spare apparently as the new balance flashed across the card to let him know."Woah..."

Nikolai laughed softly,"Yeah Kitten, you're rich."He said before picking up the bags, looking around before he took Harry's hand."Come on, we're going home."He said, without warning and apparated them back to his mansion, planning on returning for the car later. Pacing away from Harry nervously, berating himself for being a moron and letting Harry convince him to go out in public.

Harry gasped loudly and heaved as soon as they got to the house, dry heaving as his empty stomach rebelled against the actions."Hgh...I'm going to lay down. I suddenly don't feel well..."He admitted shaking his head. He hated apparating, he wihed Nikolai had at least warn him first. Bastard.

Nikolai sighed, slipping a hand under Harry's elbow, before picking him up, walking easily up the stairs before tucking him into bed. Crawling in next to him, Nikolai cuddled close, sighing again."I'm sorry, it's just...a friend reminded me. I do have enemies, and it's not wise for me to be out."He shuddered feeling bad now, for both apparating and even going out. Feeling absolutely miserable at causing harry pain."I'm sorry."

Harry chucked a little as he was tucked into bed, closing his eyes."It's okay Nik.I still got my clothes."He admitted grinning as he snuggled into the other."I didn't realize it would be bad for you to go out, or I would have never suggested it. Next time you go to a meeting though... could you pick up some books?"

"Yea, I will."nikolai smiled kissing his head. Shifting him off his chest. He had some questions he needed answered.


	8. talking

"Guys?"Nikolai asked as he stepped into the Burrow, for once not waiting for someone to open the door.

The twins jumped on him from opposite sides of the kitchen, clapping their hands over his mouth, hissing at him to be quiet. They were clearly either nicking something, or working on a prank, either way they were fixing to get in trouble if caught.

"What are you doing here mate?Something wrong?"Fred asked running a finger down his forehead where Harry's scar sat. A silent code to make sure Harry was alright. He knew Harry probably hadn't had one of his famous nightmares yet, or Nikolai'd be more panicked then this.

"Kinda."Nikolai said his voice muffled a little from their hands, being patient."Finish what you're doing then we'll talk."He growled pulling their hands down. Wanting answers, but willing to be patient. At least for a few minutes.

The twins grinned a little, resuming their tasks before looking at Nikolai. Motioning him outside not wanting anyone to overhear."So what's up mate?"

Nikolai followed outside, settling into one of the lawn chairs, stretching out his legs in front of him. Looking out of place in dragon hide and dark colors in the overly bright garden."Who raped Harry?"He asked without preamble, knowing he didn't have time to beat around the brush. Looking up at them with firey, angry eyes. As if winter skies had caught fire.

"How do you know about that?"Fred demanded his voice a whisper as George flicked his wand up to cast a silencing charm.

"Harry has never spoken of it, to anyone. Ron and Hermione don't even know, and the only reason we do is because we were the ones that found him."

Nikolai tilted his head slightly, baring his teeth in a snarl when he realized they were expecting him to lash out at them. Relaxing slightly he rested his ankle on top of his knee, looking at ease if you didn't notice he was as strung as tight as a bowstring."We were discussing..."Nikolai said looking at the ground, blushing ever so slightly, and hating his pale skin for showing it. "We were discussing how he knew I wasn't a serial killer or a rapist, he said he'd been raped before, and I wasn't as vicious as I thought I was. He remembered, and then it was gone didn't remember anything else. Who. Was. It?"

"Harry already knows you're not a rapist."Fred stated, looking slightly confused."He might not always like you..."

"But he's ALWAYS known you were a good person though he could never figure out how."

"So why would you be discussing such a thing?"Fred finished, lifting a eyebrow."What's wrong with Harry?"

"Bad end of a memory charm maybe?"George mused, looking amused as he stared at Nikolai. Laughing at the look on his face."That's not a bd idea, if Harry doesn't remember, he can't' hate you, I like it, that's devious."

The twins were avoiding telling him who it was, because they knew Nikolai was going to go insane. Yet, they knew they couldn't not tell him, so..."Zabini."

"It was Blaise Zabini, he caught Harry out of the dorm one late night and cornered him...well Harry was new to school..."Fred said.

"Confused. Weak. Blaise likes that...he always goes for the first years. Usually modifies their memories so they don't remember, we never had proof."

"That's the only reason why we never...you know, killed him for it."

Nikolai exploded out of the chair, pacing to work off some of the anger, feeling caged and angry for not doing something about Zabini when he'd knew he was up to know good but hadn't been able to prove it."His cousin gave him amnesia. He doesn't know who he is, or that he's supppsed to hate me...so I thought, I'd give him a break from being Harry Potter, and hope that if he loves me now, he'll rememher _that_ when he remembers everything we were...it's none of your business what led to that topic."Nikolai explained after a moment, flushed with embarassment.

"He did WHAT?"Both twins roared angrily as he leapt out of their chair, hands balled tightly.

"I knew he was getting picked on, but being beaten..."Fred frowned.

"I KNEW something was wrong when he stopped sending letters!"

"We called and he'd said his owl died...but we should have checked!"

"That blasted family of his...If it wsn't for the wizard-muggle law I'd teach them a thing or two about messing with wizards."George snarled angrily.

"Don't worry, Malfoy's paying them a visit. Searching for harry and all that. If that's not enough, I'm paying them a visit when I can."Nikolai snarled, worried about Harry more then anything else. Absently rubbing his shoulder where he could feel the nail marks aching he sighed."Guys, come on. I need you two calm so you can keep the rest of the morons from realizing Harry's with me. You wont do HIM any good if you go after them. Not yet anyways."

"Did you know that in second year...they had him locked in his room? They had bars on his window, and they used a cat flap to push food into him. They let him out to do chores, and use the loo, then they locked him back in."Fred said sadly.

"Before he found out he was a wizard, they'd lock him in their cupboard under the stairs sometimes for weeks. He'd have to sneak out to get food when they were sleeping. He's never even had a birthday party, because he was always there when his birthday came around. He looked shocked that first christmas, because he'd never gotten presents before."

Fred fixed Nikolai with a look."He's never been loved, even mom doesn't love him the way he needs to be loved. So you have to be really good to him Nik, because after this war, you might be the only thing that keeps him alive."

Nikolai stared at the two of them, while the rage went deep, the fear went deeper. Staring at the two people who knew him better than he knew himself sometimes, he let the fear show on his face."Wht if...I'm not what he wants guys, or needs. I love him, I know I do, but...I wont be good enough. I don't want what I'm going to have to do to see the end of the war, I'm not going to be what anyone wants for the wizarding world's savior."

They smiled at their friend, intense amusement on their faces as Fred smiled."Harry had sex with you, yes? He's cuddled into you right?"

"Amnesiac or not, Harry has never let anyone touch him before, not since..."

"He wont even let someone hug him without tensing up. The fact that you CAN touch him, and intimately in fact, means his body accepts you, all of you."

"And what the body wants, the heart wants least in Harry's case."

"And Harry rarely wants anything, so what he does want, he gets."

"By any means necessary. He would lock you in a closet if he thoought that was the only way to keep you."

"Memories or not."

"You two are creepy sometimes."Nikolai said as he watched them complete each other's sentences, ignoring their observations."I'll talk to you two later."He added before apparating out.


	9. Nightmares

Harry shifted, hand sliding over the cool silk sheets as he reached for Nikolai, his hand peeking out from under the blankets as he starting to shift. Screams ripping from his throat as the blankets tightened around his body. Not noticing he was no longer alone, even when he found himself pinned under a maltase tiger.

Nikolai winced as the screams made his head ring, his sensitive hearing making the loud screams even worse. Pressing down against the man he nuzzled Harry with his head, careful not to crush the smaller man. As he braced himself to recieve a beating, yet was surprised to hear whimpers.

"No...don't kill cedric...don't kill Sirius..."he pleaded, jerking against the tiger's heavy form, his breathing pained and terrified."I don't want to die."

Jerking hard against Nikolai, the first scream spilling from his lips as he struggled wildly to escape some invisible menace that held him. Struggling to save people long dead, and trying to protect his own life. Shaking and writhing as tears fell from his eyes, a slow dot of blood beginning to form at the point of his scar.

Nikolai growled, his whole chest rumbling with the sound as he sorted through the screaming, whimpering as he shifted back. His head aching as he settled more on top of the man, pinning his hands to the bed with one hand as he gently touched his face with the other. Wincing as he rested his forehead against Harry's, and with the half thought of wonder if he was going to get bit, he kissed Harry. His tongue plunging into the brunette's mouth, putting every talented motion into the kiss, desperate and scared.

The screams were muffled by the kiss, but continued for a moment before the they slowed into whimpers as he began kissing him a little as he was trying to get away, but calmed as if he knew who held him, blinking slowly.

"Gonna be sick..."Harry groaned, trying to roll over, his breath hitching as he worked at not throwing up. Swallowing hard he looked up at the man as Nikolai rolled off of him.

"Can you walk?"Nikolai asked as he held out a hand for Harry, worry and pain on his face. Worry because he knew Harry couldn't keep doing this, and pain because he hadn't been able to stop it.

"I can walk."Harry promised, his tone detached, as if he was angry with the blond again even as his hand sought his. Clinging tightly to him as he stumbled to the bathroom, even though he refused to be in a few moments he collapsed back onto Nikolai, burying his face in his chest. He wasn't even shaking, though his hands clung to Nikolai's shirt, holding him close as if he was the only thing that was real."I don't know what that was...but I have a deep hatred for someone...a bald man...with red eyes and no nose, he was speaking me..in snake talk...he was telling me who I had killed..Who I would continue to kill...I will never let him kill anyone I love again,even if I can't remember who they are or who he is, I will not let him kill anyone else. I will cut off his head,and I will set it on a spike for his worshippers to see and fear for all of eternity."

Nikoali stilled as he kissed the brunette's head, not overly worried at the imagery, because it was something he'd do if he could. Stilling, because he hoped that Harry could stop him from taking anyone else he cared for and he really had no desire to see the inside of a pine box. Sliding a hand down Harry' back he settled the man closer to him, cradling him in his lap. Not saying anything about the dream, even when he felt his arm burn with a summons, he refused to leave the man in his arms, Voldermort would just have to understand."Still feeling sick?"

"I think...I think I always feel sick. It feels sick right here,"Harry said touching his chest."Like...I'm burning inside and there's nothing to drown it. But my stomach is better."He said as he turned to look at the man holding him, gently kissing him."I love you."

His fingers trailed to the dark mark on Nikolai's arm, kissing him again."No matter who you serve, or pretend to, I love you."

Nikolai winced as Harry's fingers touched him, swallowing hard as he kissed the man, wondering if he really meant it. For once, vulnerablity showing on the death eater's fae as he studied his lover, biting his lip as he studied him."I love you to."He said wishing he felt better about saying it, that he didn't feel like his world would come crashing down soon. Tighting his hold on the man, needing to hold him while he can.

"I'm glad."Harry admitted softly as he nuzzled the man's neck. "You promised me a fancy dinner."He complained pouting at the other, like a five year old would. Dream forgotten replaced with love for the man that held him so closely. He knew it was time, he needed to remember, he should ask Nikolai to take him home, where he was certain all his memories were, but he wanted to be greedy and selfish, just once.

"So I did."Nikolai grinned as he got up, walking downstairs with him.


	10. Dinner

Nikolai smiled as he looked at the kitchen, flicking out a hand to light the candles scattered around the room. Glad that the chicken alfredo and ravoli wouldn't have spoiled while he was upstairs."Fancy enough?"He asked tucking the brunette's hair behind his ears.

Harry gasped lightly, eyes wide as he took in the romantic setting, his lower lip quivering as if he was about to burst into tears."It's...It's so..."Romantic. Harry'd never had such a thing done for him, even Ginny, even Cedric, not even Oliver had done such kind things for him, and they had all claimed to love Harry as well. Harry blinked away the tears that wanted to cloud his vision as a wide peaceful smile spread across his lips."This is the nicest thing any has ever done for me."

"Really?"Nikolai sounded shocked. This was a simple romantic dinner tossed together in haste, a totally lacking dinner compared to what he usually did. Shifting the brunette so he could kiss him he dragged him into the booth seat of the table pressing him close to his side. "Let's eat."

Harry's lips curled into a pleased grin as he lifted his glass cuddling against him. Bursting into giggles, before clamping a hand over his mouth, looking completely mortified at the action. Staring at Nikolai with a look that was all to amusing, like a baby who'd sneezed for the first time and shocked itself."You heard nothing!I mean it!Nothing!"

"Not a thing."Nikolai said staring at him in all seriousness, though his eyes danced with laughter. "Eat."He added starting to eat some food himself, ignoring the giggle, as he his response was threatening to giggle himself, and that just wouldn't do. What self respecting death eater giggled? Definately not him.

"It's delicious."Harry admitted smiling at Nikolai tenderly, with loving eyes as the other eat for a moment before nibbling on his own food again. Trying to savor each and every bite, trying to burn every second into his mind. It was like a tiny piece of heaven that he'd fallen into.

Nikoali smiled as he to, tried to burn the evening into his mind, for when it was over, he was sure the only thing that would keep him from walking into Malfoy Manor and admitting to being a spy would the love he was feeling from Harry. Finishing his meal he smiled as he drew Harry into a gentle kiss, tangling his fingers into his hair.

"Promise me something?"Harry asked softly against the other's lips."Promise me I can stay with you, even after I get my memories back...I don't know, if you will always love me, or if you're just using me...but I feel safe here. Warm, safe, and not afraid of anything when I'm here with you, holding and kissing you. I want to be with you forever...so promise me.."

"That's a easy promise to keep.I promise."He said kissing the other man, his heart aching. Wondering if Harry would really mean it, wanting him to stay. Knowing that if Harry left him, he'd follow behind, a faithful watchdog...or watch tiger as the case may a little he slid out of the booth as he drew Harry into his arms, heading upstairs. Grinning as he dropped the other man onto his bed, he bent to kiss him."And I promsie, you'll enjoy every minute of it."

Harry grinned brightly, almost predatorially as he ran his teeth along the other's neck."I don't know why you keep putting yourself through this. I always mark you up something fierce every time we fuck."He teased, motioning for the other to take his shirt off."Take it off. I remembered how to do something."

Nikolai eyed the brunette a moment before tugging off his shirt. Trusting the man with his body and soul he laid on his side as he looked at him, pulling him in for another kiss."Remembering things about sex is a good thing."He teased as he ran his hands over Harry's body. Not really minding that the man kept marking him up, because it meant he'd have something to remember, no matter what happened, proof that it really happened.

Harry snorted a little."It's not sex, you idiot."He stated flashing the other a smirk."You'll get that later."He muttered gently stroking his hands down the other's back, muttering a healing spell under his breath as the scratches faded into sars. Squirming free he bounced off the bed.

"Alright, sit on the edge of the bed."He ordered his eyes burning with lust.

Nikolai raised a eyebrow before shivering as he obeyed."What do you have planned kitten?"He growled, liking the nickname for his surprisingly kittenish lover, voice rough with lust.

harry smirked little as he settled on his knees in front of his lover, tucking his wild hair out of his way before gently tugging Nikolai's pants out of the way. Licking his lips eagerly as he gently gripped the shaft of the other's cock, fingers stroking and rubbing softly."Try not to jerk to much. And when you're about to come, warn me."He said, his eyes flashing with amusement as he lowered his head and ran his tongue along the other's cock.

Nikolai moaned, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back. Shivering as the other pleasured him. Trembling ever so slightly as he ran his fingers through Harry's head. "Harry I-"He stopped as he shuddered, the orgasm crashing over his body as his muscles tightened, is body shaking a lttle with the force of it. Hell, the man's mouth should be outlawed.

harry jerked back, startled before smirking. "And we need to work on your endurance love... or I could just put a cock ring on you."He said playfully as he shed his clothes, bruises standing out as he moved up next to him."Bite me, I want you to mark me like I marked you."

"I have plenty of endurance."He said smirking a little as he shuddered under the other man's mouth, drawing him up for a the man down he stretched out on top of him, nuzzling the man's neck before he sank his teeth into the vulnerable spot. Tonguing the area before biting down harder, tasting blood. Drawing back he smirked, blood making his usual seductive pout even more so.

Harry gasped, moaning as he looked up at his lover, muttering a curse as pained pleasure as blood ran down his neck."ohh...fuck yes..."He hissed dragging the other down by the hair for a kiss."Fuck me bitch."

"You are demanding for a submissive."Nikolai commented as he kissed the other man back, rough and harsh, sliding his fingers into the man. Tasting blood on harry's lips he moaned softly before shifting again, sliding his hardened cock into the brunette, a sharp shift of his hips, slamming hard into him.

"I might be the bottom, but I am never submissive."Harry hissed, smirking as he shuddered, moving back against the other.

Nikolai smiled slightly, kissing him to shut him up, thrusting hard into him, having every intent of driving him insane. Feeling calm and in control as he moved, hands holding the man still, bruisingly hard as he fucked him. Eyes dark with lust and love, curly blond hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. Enjoying being with his lover even more so because they were in bed. The table, wall, desk had been hot, but ti was nice to be in bed, because Nikolai never invited anyone to his bed. So this was a totally new experience to have his lover in bed with him, and be willing to share the private space.

"Bite me again!Please!"harry pleaded, panting hard as he squirmed under the other. He was already so close, already he wanted to come, and to think he'd just been teasing Nikolai about HIS endurance.

Nikolai laughed softly as he leaned down, sinking his teeth in the other side of the brunette's neck, drawing blood, leaving him as marked up as the man left him. Knowing in those few minutes before he came, that Harry owned him body and soul and he'd do anything for the man under him.

Harry moaned happily, arching under the other man, spilling his seed all over as he moaned loudly. "mmm Nik you make my world.."He purred as the other settled down beside him.

Nikolai shuddered a little as he pulled out of him, gathering the man in his arms as he rested his head on Harry's chest, shaky arms refusing to hold him up softly, almost to softly to hear."Harry, you _are_ my world."He said, afaid of what would come next, of when he rememebered.

Harry smiled as he snuggled into the other, nibbling lightly at his neck."I don't want to I think...I need to know...that nightmare..."He shuddered violently thinking about it."I need to remember everything...so I can do the things I'm certain that I need to do...I need to remember, so I can protect you."

"I'm the one protecting you, I don't need you protecting me."He said, pressing a kiss to harry's fingers as he rested them against his cheek. Fear knotting his stomach because he was afraid of what the brunette wold do, if he remembered being in love with him, and the constant danger he put himself in. "We'll go visit your friends in the morning."He said disliking the idea of visiting Ron, knowing he'd get blamed for his condition.

"I love you Nik, and nothing will ever change that...not even myself..."Harry muttered as he drifted into a easy sleep.


	11. Visting home

"Ready to meet the horde?"Nikolai asked as he brushed his fingers through Harry's hair before moving back a step. Knowing no one but the twins would take kindly to find him and Harry wrapped in each other's arms when they opened the door. Swallowing hard he knocked loudly on the door, his hands fisting at his sides. Nerves showing to anyone who knew him, but to anyone else he looked as vaguely amused as ever. The only warning he wasn't as stable as he appeared was the slight twitching of his hand as he let the fisted hand fall loose before fisting again.

"H-horde?"Harry demanded as the door popped open, Hermione and Ron gaping at Harry looking shocked and relieved. Harry winced as the flod of memories as they rushed forward to hug him.

"You bloody, lying, son of a bitch snake!"Ron said as they released Harry, spinning to face the blond with him. Moving to take a swing at him before Harry pushed him back.

"Don't touch him."He ordered leveling a glare at the redhead.

Nikolai turned his head looking at Harry, "You okay?"He muttered ingoring Ron and Hermione, focusing on the brunette. Though it probbly wasn't a good idea, considering Ron was liable to take another swing at him.

"Ahhh Nikolai!You brought Harry!So soon?"The twins said shoving the other two out of the doorway before dragging Nikolai and Harry into the living room, giving their brother a warning glare.

"It was great!Viper contacted us and said that Harry wasn't on the dark side."Fred said laughing.

"Said he was safe, and Moody immediately called off the search, and we've really been kicking death eater's asses."George said grinnning at Nikolai, as the two winked at him.

Harry snickered a little as he took Nikolai's hand as they sat down on the couch, leaning into the other man. Shocking everyone as they walked in.

"Uh...Harry you HATE Nikolai!"Ron complained.

"No, I used to hate Nik."Harry corrected."Things changed."

"You're acting strange..."Ron muttered.

"No he's not."Fred said.

"This is the REAL harry."

"He's been able to hide himself all his life."

"But now he's free!"The twins finished together.

Nikolai stared at the twins, looking amused."I think you two missed your calling. You would have been perfect in Slytherin."He said, resting a arm along the back of the couch behind Harry, drawing him close, though he shook a little with anger and nerves. Not wanting to sit and get insulted or yelled at by Ron, but for Harry he was willing to do both."Aw Weasley, you're just jealous he got to me first."

Ron sputtered with furry as Harry stood. Glaring furiously at Ron Harry sighed softly."I am only going to tell you this once. Nikolai is my boyfriend, my lover, and if you do ANYTHING to hurt him in ANY way I WILL make sure you suffer for it."He hissed angrily.

"The sorting hat wanted to put us in Slytherin."Fred chriped, ignoring the dramatic scene to talk to Nikolai."But we knew we'd be disowned."

"So we asked it to put us in Gryffindor instead."George admitted.

"Really?Me to, only I just didn't want to go into the same house as the ferret."Harry said as he flopped back onto the couch,lacing his fingers with Nikolai, brushing his lips over the blond's ear."If you need to leave, it's okay.I know Ron can be a little..overbearing but he's just trying to protect me."

Nikolai laughed softly as he got up, kissing his lover before making his way outside. Not noticing when Ginny walked out. Not noticing the silencing spell going around them.

"Ahhh poor Nikolai. so disliked...but I like you."Ginny said trailing a hand over his arm as he walked close, ignoring the tense muscles undre her hands, knowing he wouldn't fight back because he wasn't willing to cause more problems with him and her family then he had to. Raising up on her toes she dragged him down for a kiss. Ignoring his attempts to break away without causing injury.

Inside Harry frowned stopping mid sentence, as he tilted his head."Did someone just throw up a silencing charm"He asked looking around before terror showed on his face. Rushing out to where he'd seen Nikolai go, he watched for a moment.

"You flithy little whore!"He yelled slamming into her, shoving her a few feet away from Nikolai, a low feral snarl falling from his lips as he whipped out his wand and aimed at her."I swear on Nikolai's life, if you ever touch him again I will curse you so bad you wont even be able to tell where your head starts and your feet end!You got that?"

Ginny nods with wie eyes, before scrambling up off the ground and running backk inside. Nikolai snickered as he pressed into harry's back, nuzzling the man's neck, teeth biting down ever so gently."You have no idea how long I've wanted to do I ever told you you make me extremely horny?"He growled, his voice deep and whole body strung tight, wanting to bend or press Harry into the nearest surface and fuck him until they were both weak with it.

Harry gasped as he snuggled into his lover, falling mildly limp under the other's lips as he bit him."Ahhh...not there..."He groaned, his voice laced with pleasure and submission."Need you..."He murmured needfully. Nikolai had finally found the button that switched him from dominate to submissive.

"ahhhh so that's what makes you weak in the knees."He growled softly, shifting his grip on the man, nudging him toward sthe side of the house, recasting the silencing charm as he did into the man without warning, moaning as he screwed him ruthlessly, biting at the back of his neck as he did.

"Good...don't stop..."Harry moaned pressing his blushing face against the side of the house, hands bracing himself against the siding as he was fucked.

"Harry mate, ginny said you-MY EYES!"Ron screamed as he staggered away from the door, crashing into things as he walked back inside. meanwhile, harry was to far gone to even notice the interruption.

Nikolai growled softly moaning as he came, shivering at the feel as he stroked his fingers over harry's cock, moaning as come coated his fingers. Panting as he rested his head against harry's shoulder, closing his eyes."Damn."

"Hmn..."Harry moaned insensibly, content for a few moments to just be there with Nikolai.

Nikolai smirked slowly pulling out of him, pulling his pants back up and tucking himself in."Hmmm love, come to go inside."He said smirking as he headed inside.

Ron looked up tramatized as the two men walked in, already working on forgetting what he hd seen. Hermione meanwhile kept asking him what was wrong, but he just shook his head, flinching when Nikolai stepped into the room.

Nikolai smirked,"You're sister's a whore an-"He started to inform Ron, stopping when his body reacted to the summons, hands fisting at his sides as he struggled not to give in and apparate right then and his head to look at Harry, offering a small smile."You want me to take you home, or are you okay here?"

Harry looked at his lover with concerned eyes stepping forward and making the taller man bend to he could kiss him, fingers brushing over the bare dark mark." careful Nik, please."He pleaded softly.

Nikolai nodded, kissing him back."I will be."He said disappating.


	12. Shame

Nikolai shivered as he knocked on the burrow's door, wanting nothing more to sit down. His whole body was sore and strung as tight as a wire, glad he hadn't run into anyone else while he was at the manor. Wincing when the door snapped open, revealing Ron who glared at Nikolai but didn't say anything as he let the other pass into the house.

"Harry's hurt."He said finally, following Nikolai into the living room, looking the boy who lived over. He'd managed to hive himself a blck eye, clawed at his own neck."He fell asleep and had a hasn't woken up yet, and we were hoping you could get him up."

Nikolai snickered a little, the sound painful and hurt."I can always get him up."He said cursing under his breath as he walked over, sinking to the floor. Ignoring as his body ached, pressing a kiss to Harry's lips. "Harry, love, time to wake up. I want to do wickedly bad things to you, but you have to wake up first."He purred kissing him again, hoping that it would work like it had last time. Worry twisting his stomach, fear and pain on his face as he looked at the brunette.

"I saw...I saw what he did..."Harry sid sofly, groaning as his eyes fluttered open."I saw what he did to you."He whispered, wrapping his arms around the broader man.

Nikoli shuddered a little, hunching into him, resting his head on the other's shoulder, trembling. Shame twisting his stomach at the realization Voldermort had made Harry suffer along with him."I'm fine."He muttered a little, not looking at any of the others, wanting nothing more than to crawl unde the covers of his bed, and hide until he could walk again.

"Let's go home. My family can wait, I need to make you better."Harry said softly kissing Nikolai softly, wrapping his arms around him, puling him snugly against him. Wincing as the other apparated them back to the mansion. Steering the blond into the bedroom, he forced the other to undress laying him down. Leaving his own clothes on as he looked over the other, looking for lasting damage, pain and fury in his eyes as he slowly carefully straddled Nikolai's waist.

Nikolai muttered softly in pain as Harry massaged his back, purring ever so the initial pain, it felt good, yet every time the brunette brushed his back he tensed, waiting for a blow. Swallowing hard he turned his head to look t the other, smiling slightly. Knowing for the most part there wasn't any lasting damage, except to his mind."You should be laying down."He muttered.

Harry sighed a little, worry in the sound as he gently laid down next to him, gently resting a arm across his back, fingers gently stroking his hair."He had no right."He whispered softly, pulling the blond closer, gently rocking him, pressing a kiss to his head."You shouldn't hold it in..scream, yell, cry...something...don't just lay there."He pleaded.

Nikolai curled up in his arms, shuddering a little, tears sliding down his cheeks as he laid in Harry's arms. Giving into the need to do it. For once as broken, as vulnerable as anyone he'd ever protected from Voldermort. Wrapping his arms around Harry tightly, he cried harder. Feeling broken, he wondered if he'd ever recover.

Harry gently stroked the other's back, holding him close, singing a soft lullaby. Tightening is grip on the other, he knew he never wanted to let the other man a bottle of firewhiskey he nuzzled his hair."It will help the pain."He said helping him sit up.

Nikolai shifted a little, resting his head against the other's shoulder as he sipped the firewhiskey. Pain and shame as he looked at Harry. Even knowing that the same thing had happened to him, didn't make him feel better because he'd let it happen willingly, to save a friend. It hurt...it hurt to be defiled that way."I'm sorry...that you had to watch..."He said after a long moment, pain in the worse for making harry watch then actually being raped.

"You did what you had to do."He muttered softly as he kissed the blond, "I wish I could wash him away from you forever, and someday I will, I promise you will. You're mine. No matter what happens, you are mine, and I am yours."

Nikolai smied slowly, cuddlng as he shifted against him, falling asleep. Reassured and safe, knowing this would work out. That they would survive.


	13. Home and Traitors

"It smells good down here."Nikolai muttered as he walked downstairs, hugging harry from behind as he nuzzled the other's neck, smiling as he made breakfast."You smell better."

Harry grinned at the other over his shoulder, sighing as he settled back against Nikolai."What?Are you saying I stink?"he demanded playfully, a vindictive amusement showing on his face before he ground his ass into the other's crotch as he bit his neck."Ahh nik ,thats not fair. Makes me all needy...it's cheating."

Nikolai growled softly, shifting them to press the brunette into the counter. His lips nibbling at his neck."No it's not."He said needing to be in control of something, needing to reaffirm that Harry needed him. For once, the man was stripped down and showing just how needy he was.

Harry groaned, squirming."Fuck me, nik please."He growled, before grabbing the other's hair, yanking him around for a kiss."And I swear to god I'll ring you if you don't."

Nikolai snickered, jerking his head out of the other's grip, smirking as he slid his fingers into the other. Closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against Harry's back, before pulling his fingers out of him. Sinking into the other with practiced ease, sliding a hand around Harry's hip, cupping him in his palm. Taking his time pleasuring the other.

"N...nik don't tease."Harry pleaded as he gripped the counter tightly, teasing though it felt like, Harry wasn't sure how to handle the gentle Nikolai. He wasn't used to gentle, didn't know how to react, or how to feel...all he knew was that it felt good, and for now, he was going to drown himself in it.

Nikolai shuddered as he thrust into him, giving into the need to fuck him as hard as normal, gripping Harry's hips tightly as he rested his forehead against the other's shoulder. Getting the bad memories out of his system with every thrust of his hips, every bruising flex of his fingers. Nuzzling his neck as he cuddled against the other's back, taking his time.

"Fuck nik, yes!oh god..."Harry moaned his face crossed with pleasure and need, bucking against the other as he came."Ahh..."He muttered shivering under the other's bite.

Nikolai moaned as he came, burying his face against the other's neck,biting down on the skin under his lips as he coasted on the aftershocks. Feeling better then he had since...well forever.

"Fucking hell...I love the way you fuck me...that new trick of yours...going slow...could we..."He hesitated a minute."Try it again later?"He asked flicking a glance over his shoulder to meet Nikolai's eyes, uncertain and wary. Not afraid of Nikolai, afraid of the gentleness. No one was gentle with him, even the weasley's hadn't been overly gentle or nurturing. It was new, and it puzzled him as much as it scared him.

Nikolai smiled slightly as he kissed the other. Stepping back he sighe as he pulled out of the brunette, collapsing back into the kitchen chairs, holding him in his lap."Anything you want kitten."He said nuzzling his neck, hands absently trailing gently over his skin. More gentle than he usually was not because he was afraid of hurting him, but because he wasn't sure of his welcome.

Taking comfort in the other's reaction, that he was welcome, he rested his hea on Harry's shoulder, a shudder running through him. Afraid he'd never recover the parts of him that his torture had been damaged. While he'd been able to be with Harry, to make love to him, the man running his fingers startled him into lifting his head, looking panicked for a minute before he relaxed.

Barely a day after his abuse, he was already wondering if he'd be normal again. Most people would still be laying in bed unwilling to conider what happened, but not Nikolai Belkov, he held himself to higher standards then that, because that's what harry needed from him. He needed his death eater spy if he was going to see the end of the war, and he knew Harry needed him to be able to be whole for him. So already, he was pushing harder then he probably should. Though he'd keep going until he ran face first into a wall, and discovered which broke first, his mind or body.

Harry smiled as he leaned back into the blond's chest, "You need to rest."He whispered turning his head to kiss the other's temple."I need to go see my family. I need to..."He swallowed hard shaking his head."I am not him."He muttered to himself getting himself under control."I need to get my things from my house, so that I never have to go back again. Then I will kill that snake bastard."He growled a little, looking at the man holding him."I remember everything you know, every single little bit of my life, and I'm still here. Nothing will ever take me from .Yours forever."

Nikolai relaxed, his whole body relaxing at the reassurance, having been tense in a way that he hadn't known. Having been so afraid over what Harry'd do when he found his memories. Tears clinging to his eyelashes, having not realized he'd needed the promise. Turning his head to press a kiss into harry's fingers, he set the other on his feet."Come 'll go get ready and then see your family."He growled heading upstairs.

His voice left no argument to what he was planning, even if he should be sleeping. For once, adding muggle weapons over the clothes. A knife...well actually more a sword sliding home in the sheath along his back, knives slid into his boots. While he wanted to scare the living hell out of Harry's relatives, they were there for more his own comfort. Knowing he could do some damage to anyone who wanted to touch him,even if he didn't have his wand or couldn't do magic, it was to look at the brunette as he stepped into te room he pulled him into a kiss."Mine."

Harry smiled kissing him back, hesitating at the fact that Nikolai was coming along, but didn't try to argue with him about it."Nik, they're not pleasant people. I need your word, that no matter what they do, or say you will not lay a finger, spell, or wepaon anywhere near them/ They are MY problem, and mine alone."He stated his eyes serious."If you refuse, then I will simply spell you so you can't follow and you know I can. I will never demand this of you again, ever. But these people are my burden to bear, and they will suffer at my hands."

Nikolai snarled softly, staring at him hard,before sighing."Fine."He said kissing him harshly."Let's go."

Harry's lips twitched a little in a almost smile as Nikolai bared his teeth as he rang the doorbell. That smile just spoke volumes and promised death if someone came near him."Hello Petunia."He said as the door opened.

Petunia stared at the imposing figure her nephew was, and cringed back at the sight of Nikolai.

"VERNON!"Harry roared,demanding a respnse, demanding so many things. Watching his cousin come into the room he focused on his family, even though he knew Nikolai was hovering nearby like some dark angel of death.

"Where have you been you brat?"Vernon demanded grabbing Harry by the front of his shirt, "we've had all sorts of...of FREAKS here!"He paused as Harry met his ees, dropping the former gryffindor and taking a step back."What?"

"I'm leaving."Harry stated simply, straightening his shirt. "For good. You will never have to have me sully your house again."He admitted, smirking."You wont have a house for much longer. I came to get my things, you'd probably better go out to the garden."He stated simply as he headed up the stairs. Ignoring as the family ran outside, ignoring as he let fire spill from his wand. Smirking wider as saw flames following Nikolai's steps. Gathering his things he smiled as he followed Nikolai outside, watching the house burn.

"Can I turn your cousin into pig?"Nikolai asked, pulling the man into a kiss. The darkness and threats were eating him alive, and he really wanted to injure the family.

"Sorry, someone already tried."Harry snickered."All dudley got was a curly tail."He said wtching the flames take the house, "How long I've wanted to do that...this house they locked me in, now they've lost it. A fitting punishment I think."He said before looking at Nikolai."Now we can deal with your demons."

A shadowed look crossed his face, a vulnerability that was usually tightening on Harry's arms as he had a sensory memory so strong he swayed on his feet, feeling the heat of the fire on his face, trembling. Trying not to think about his face being shoved against the Malfoy's fireplace, of being held there, inches from being his grip on harry's arm he growled."Let's go to the burrow."

Harry nodded gently touching the other's face frowning a little."Sorry.I didn't mean to make you remember."He knew that look, he'd had it himself, so many times." yours."He muttered wrapping his arms around the other, smiling at him before he staggered. Gasping loudly as he clapped a hand against his forehead, his vision swimming."Ohhh..."He doubled over, puking."I guess meeting my family was more than I expected.I didn't think I'd react this badly to burning it down."

Nikolai winced as he looked at the puke covered boots, before kissing him softly, despite the taste."So I can tell, but we'll get you tucked in and settled. Maybe Molly'll make us something to chocolate."He brightened a little, though his look was shadowed when he apparated them, he was happy. Kicking the door lightly seeing as his hands were busy holding Harry against his chest. Nuzzling Harry's neck, wanting nothing more then to curl up and sleep.

Harry groaned, wincing as he puked all over Nikolai's shirt, wincing as he cast a spell and cleaned it up."Hot chocolate would be great."He agreed,"Maybe I'm sick?"He wondered out loud. Wincing as he found himself looking at the business end of four wands. "Sorry, I know he's not good with manners."

Molly frowned as she rushed forward, looking at the man in Nikolais arms."You're so pale!You my lay down this instant."She said before looking at Nikolai."Take him upstairs."she ordered shooing the two upstairs, not realizing that things were about to get messy.

After all, it's not every day a dark lord finds out his second, is also a traitor.


	14. Hospitals and love

"Nikolai...sucha traitor I have never met."Voldermort said stroking a hand down the blond's face as he walked closer, looking at the belkov heir surrounded by the elegence and opulance of malfoy manor. Having summoned him to see what the other would say, and seeing the man pale and sway on his feet, was priceless. Wrapping his hand in the other's hair, he shoved him into the table, pinning him there.

Nikolai whimpered softly as the table was driven into his stomach, meeting Draco's eyes across the length of the table, knowing the man had been summoned to watch his execution. Because what else would Voldermort do when he found a spy among them? Closing his eyes to avoid looking into those eyes he shuddered, praying Draco lived through thismoment, to be able to help Harry. His world shattered as the spell was cast on him, trembling as he screamed. His magic becoming the very weapon that was intent on destroying him.

Then he felt what Voldermort was doing to him physically.

"Ah, your lover just couldn't keep his mouth shut. He spilled his secrets, he wanted to betray you, because he knew you were never loyal, you little whore. So spread your legs again Belkov, and I might let you live to know the heartache of his betrayal..and know its your fault for trusting him..."

The words broke the spy, shattering a already breaking mind and he knew the torture for what it was. A mental rape that stole his magicand made it the weapon that broke him, and a physical rape designed to break him, and broke him it did.

Despite being betrayed, despite being sure that harry didn't care for him beyond what he neededfrom him, he hoped the man couldn't see what was happening, hoping that he was getting some peaceful sleep. A lazy smirk as he lost consciousness.

As the days passed, it was Harry that was constantly at the edge of Nikolai's bed, sobbing silently day after day, refusing to be moved away. Even going as far as to toss several nurses and doctors out of the room himself. Day by day though, his own sickness got worse as he fed his magic into the other, refusing to let the other die. Refusing to be abandoned again. It was three weeks where Harry couldn't be sure if the other could hear him pleading to wake up,his promise of love and safety. Three weeks that he planned Voldermort's torture and death. Three weeks to learn that he wasn't just sick.

He waited though, waited for the other's magic to ease it's torment of his lover, waited for his lover's magic to take hold of the spell and rip it apart, a process that might take a month, a year, or even longer. Harry wouldn't stand for that, he poured magic into Nikolai until he was exhausted and had to sleep. Only to resume the activites as soon as he woke, 'borrowing' magic from random people in the hall, plants, animals dark art,but Harry at least didn't drain enough for any of them to notice.

All he could do, was wait.

Just over two months after his world had shattered, Nikolai blinked slowly, squeezing his eyes shut at the harsh light, a small whimper on his lips. Cringing as he felt magic slid over his skin, felt it take hold for a minute before sliding away again. Wondering why he'd even woken up. He remembered enough that his world laid broken at his feet, betrayed by the only man he loved, deprived of the only thing he'd wanted to survive for. At least...that's what he thought.

The spell had kept him from hearing anything that had been going on around him, had kept him in the dark spun of Voldermort's lies, his mind continuely breaking under the words. Even with waking up, his body had survived, but it would take months of patience, love, and promise to put himself together again.

Closing his eyes again at the harsh light, he moaned softly, trying to sink back into the darkness. Though he'd known something had been keeping him alive, kept him from shattering under the pain, he didn't know what was going on. His body hurt to much, his heart hurt. His body had been broken and bruised around the torture, even with Harry's magic healing him, it'd still be done damage. Even without looking he knew his body had been scarred, bones broken. Blinking slowly, he sighed, before drifting back to unconsciousness.

At the first moan Harry grasped his hand gently, a soft lullaby singing in his ear. Promising love and to cherish, to always be there. Wrapping his magic tightly around the blond, he let the magic fill the other fully, for a brief painless moment before it fluttered away."You're going to kill yourself if you keep this up. You need to rest..." The nurse said softly as she rested a hand on his shoulder.

"I can rest, when Nik is awake and knows the truth."Harry snarled at the nurse, who backed out of the room. He rarely wanted anything, so what Harry Potter wanted, he got it. If he had to curse a few doctors to stay at Nikolai's side, he would. Because Harry wanted Nikolai so badly, needed his lover. Because the russian was the other half of his soul.

Days past as Nikolai worked to put his mind and body back together, though he hadn't spoken, he didn't flinch at anyone's touching him anymore. Yet there were still fault lines, still barely healed scars on his mind that threatened to break if pushed to hard. Silence was his defense against the pain that threatened to rip him apart. Yet, even hearing Harry's voice, starting to trust a little bit, wsn't enough to fully heal a man who'd spent his life believing he didn't deserve anyone's attentions.

Blinking startled when he realized he had visitors, he froze with his fingers stroking through Harry's hair, for once in awhile while the other slept he gave into the need to touch him. Dropping his hand as he studied the twins, he raised a eyebrow. Wondering if someone had finally picked up on the fact he didn't exactly trust Harry anymore, despite the man's words and continued presence.

"..."He stared at them, the words refusing to escape. More then anything, he wanted to go home, home where there were good memories. He really wnted to know what was happening with Harry. Though he'd witnesed the sickness over the last two weeks, nothing or no one could tell him what was wrong with the golden boy. Staring harder at the two he tried to convey the question as he glanced at the brunette where he was cuddled against him, before looking up again. Wanting the truth, the pain and longing in the gaze.

Fred smiled slightly, understnding the question as he muttered a sleeping spell to make sure he'd stay asleep. Settling into the chair next to the bed he smiled as George sat next to him.

"Harry didn't betray you, at least not on purpose."Fred said softly."Voldermort raped his mind, took the information he wanted without Harry noticing."

"Harry was never good at occlumency. Harry's been continuously feeding you his magic."

"He's nearly fainted had to sedate hm a few times to, because when they tried to remove him he flew into a rage."

"He hasn't dared to leave you alone, for fear that Voldermort might come and try to kill you again."

"And Voldermort wont leave him alone."Fred sighed softly."He loves you. There's no one he loves more, he even attacked US when we tried to talk him into George's ribs."

"I knew he could be violent, but I never thought that he could snap like that."

"Harry's most likely the only reason you survived. He fed you his magic until he made himelf sick..."

"Used dark arts to suck magic from people and things around him just so he could keep feeding you magic so you wouldn't die and leave him alone."

"Harry is just as dependant on you, as you are on him."

Nikolai was silent for a goodlong while, absently stroking Harry's hair, turning his head to press a kiss to the man's forehead, before sighing. Swallowing hard, refusing to show the tears that were choking him.

"...lasting harm?"He said slowly, needing to know if saving him had caused Harry harm. Rage building slowly at the idea of Voldermort using him against Harry, wanting nothng more then to kill the man for daring to do this.

"Sick."He said for sure, having noticed the brunette throwing up, even after he woke up. The brunette wasn't well. Wondering if his voice would ever heal enough to let him talk normally, having screamed himself hoarse within those hours under Voldermort, his voice broken. Yet he needed his voice, if only to tell Harry just how much he meant to him.

The twins hesitated, then shook their heads, fred answering."Not lasting, but it will take him awhile to recover."

"But harry...has a condition no one knew about, not even Harry himself. Harry will have to tell you. You rest."George ordered gently, lifting the sleeping spell off Harry.

"Yea, the doctor's said that you should recover completely to. Physically anyway. Though you might have a few troubles with your voice giving out once in awhile."

"And ghost pains. Flashbacks, but they'll fade with time to."George promised, patting Nikolai's head like he was a child before they left.

"No...no...get out...get out of my head..."Harry pleaded, panting hard. His scar bleeding, the red liquid spilling down Harry's forehead to drip onto Nikolai's chest."Leave...leave him alone...don't...Nik!NIK!I'll KILL YOU!I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"Harry roared panting hard as he leap out of the bed, swinging at empty air, trying to hit someone that wasn't there. A look of pure fury in his eyes."You think this will break me?YOU THINK THIS WILL BREAK ME!"

And yet, Harry was already breaking, he sometimes wondered if he wasn't already mad.

"Harry!"Nikolai yelled, stumbling as he got to his feet, grabbing the brunette's arm to keep from falling. Dragging him around for a kiss, tasting blood and his own tears. Hanging onto the man tightly even as he felt the other punch him accidently. Whimpering as his legs gave out, realizing a second before he fell that he was going to drag Harry down with him. Wincing as his back hit the floor, head slamming off the bed as he caught Harry, wrapping his arms around him tightly."Harry..."

Harry looked startled as they both hit the floor, looking even more surprised when he realized who was holdinghim."N-Nikolai!You're awake?You're okay?When?How?Why didn't anyone tell me!"He demanded before he was silenced with a kiss, leaning forward into it, wrapping his arms around the other's shoulder tightly."Oh nik, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault you're hurt like this."He whispered burying his face against the other's shoulder."I didn't know he was in my head Nik, I swear I didn't know. I would NEVER betray you!"

Nikolai winced at the other held him, rubbing his head where he'd hit it off the bed."I've been...up for awhile..."He said, not sying the obvious. That he'd pretended to be asleep while the other was awake, because he hadn't known what happened. Now he did, and he was willing to be vulnerable again. Rubbing his shoulder where Harry'd punched him, he sighed."Up?"

Harry smiled a little, gently cradling his lover as he helped him onto the bed, before groaning a little clapping his hand over his mouth as he crumbled a bit. He looked like he was going to be sick again, and was struggling not to puke."Sorry...delayed reaction from the dream..."He said once he was under control."I love you Nik, I really do. Please don't leave me. Please don't, I can't live without you."

A small smile played at his lips as he tugged the other man close, sliding his arms around him, pressing a kiss to his forehead."Love you to."He muttered closing his eyes, before opening one eye to look at him."You...sick?"He asked worriedly, looking torn and sorry that his recovery had caused the man to be sicker then normal. Raising a hand to rub his eyes, a headache starting.

"It's a stress disorder."He lied effortlessly, "It just means that I work myself into a frenzy and then puke. But before you go back to sleep, I HAVE to ask you something."He whispered softly, reaching into his pocket, hesitating, before looking down at the velvet covered box."I don't know much, about high class wizards, even if I am technically one...so I don't know if I'm doing this right or not...would you marry me?"He asked hopefully flipping open the box to reveal a shining white gold ring with the Belkov family crest entwined with the Potter's, a tradional ring for two powerful families.


	15. Marriage Moments

Nikolai studied the ring in the box in front of him, curling his lips into a smile. Amused a little because he'd gone through so much trouble to find a simple proposal ring. Nodding slightly as he swallowed his tears.

"Yes, kitten."He said, with a rumbling purr to his voice, smiling as he took the ring out, sliding it on. Slightly amused to find a perfect fit. Curling his hand a little he sighed softly at the feel of the band biting into his skin, a slight frown as he thought over Harry's words. Fear crossing his face as he thought over Harry's words, sensing the lie. But not realizing it was about his sickness, not the want to be with him.

Harry beamed at him, happy tears in his eyes as he flung his arms around the other, letting out a happy little sob."I was so afraid that you'd say ...uhm...I don't have a stress disorder."He admitted sheepishly.

"But I didn't want you to feel obligated to marry me. I wanted you to marry me because you love me, not because I was pregnant with your baby, who is a boy by the way."He was horrible at easing people intot things. "God Nik, I love you so much."

Nikolai looked like he'd been hit with a sledgehammer, not responding to the kiss as he tried to sort out what he'd said. Actually passing out when his mind informed him of what was wrong with his lover.

Blinking slowly in a few minutes, he stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out why he'd blacked out again. "I'm fine."He growled at the doctor as he got the light shined in his eye.

The doctor laughed softly, turning off the light, looking at Harry."I assume you told him? You probably just shocked him Mr. Potter. Nothing else."He said, not finding anything wrong with the former slytherin, he smiled a little."Welcome back Mr. Belkov."

"I-I'm sorry."Harry stammered blushing hard as he sat on the edge of the bed."I didn't think, I was just so excited you said yes, and it just slipped out!I meant to give you a couple days to get used to the idea of getting married but...I was never very god at things like this..."He said, looking at the blond with hopeful eyes."You...you don't mind do you?I-I know it's really rare for a male to be able to be...but I guess the potter line has always..I really have to stop ruining your life."

Nikolai frowned at him, a scowl curling his lips as he took his chart from the doctor before shooing the man out. Writing on the back of the white folder, getting fed up with his voice breaking.'_Stop it. I made my choices, and you haven't ruied anything. There are..._he stopped handing the folder to him, smiling at the brunette, though it was hesitant and for once, vulnerable."Harry."He said simply, reaching out for him.

"I love you Nik."He whispered softly, wrapping his arms around the other, settling Nikolai's hand on his rounding stomach."I want to be with you forever. We could live together, in your house, the three of us. I could make breakfast in the mornings, and wake you up in all sorts of naughty ways, and our child would learn all sorts of magic, light and dark. And we could get a kitten maybe?Or a tiger?"

Nikolai laughed softly, touching the tip of his tongue to his canine tooth, smirking at him."Kitten."He said, pointing to Harry's stomach with a laugh, snuggling close. Shifting down to rest his cheek on the other's stomach. Looking at peace and content, even with fear gnawing at his stomach at the idea of what Voldermort would do when he realized they both had major weaknesses for the next few weeks.

Harry snickered at the joke."We are NOT naming our baby kitten."He protested, laughter in his eyes as he leaned back, letting Nikolai snuggle him."Oh and, I've officially handed over the saving of the world to someone else For now anyways. I'm sure they'll drag me back later somehow. But Voldermort is losing anywys, and everyone knows it. His followers are dropping like flies, apparently a 'viper' has been going around assassinating key members of his following. If I remember correctly, Lucius Malfoy was the first to start pushing up daisies."

"Not shocking."He said, smirking a little at the thought. Draco could be deadly if he wanted to he was glad that Harry was not going to be saving the world anytime soon, one of them in the hospital was enough for a lifetime. "Kitten."He purred.

"WE ARE NOT NAMING HIM KITTEN!"Harry roared, sulking a little as he pouted, though he was trying not to smile.

Harry smiled as he looked down at his belly, well rounded and big. He looked like a giant watermelon. His smile dropped instantly at the thought, scowling a little, he was dressed in a specially fitted tux, but no matter how he looked at it, he looked fat. It drove him crazy!And he was much bigger then the doctors had predicted to, lying bastards. He groaned as he looked up at the cieling.

Hermione giggled as she started wrestling his hair into some sembalance of order."Nervous?"

Harry rolled his eyes. No he wasn't nervous, he wasnt scared that death eters were going to storm in and destroy long months of hard recovery, long planning, and a lifetime of happiness. No he wasn't scared at all!

"You look so handsome."Hermione gushed as Ron walked in, staring at Harry's belly again. He couldn't help it!It was just so weird."Draco's here."He stated with a acidic tone, and scowled. Even knowing Draco was good friends with Nikolai did little to ease their hatred of each other. Though they did stick with verbal fights now.

Nikolai twitced a little as he looked at the blond standing next to him, trying to tame his hair into some fashionable style."Stop laughing. It's not funny."He said, knowing he was nervous, and his voice kept breaking at the oddest times. Like now, stressed out and scared that Harry would back out. Even though he knew his soon to be husband wouldn't, he couldn't help fearing it.

Looking at himself in the mirror he smirked. Looking dashingly handsome in his well fit tux, he knew he looked stunning. Looking at his best man he let a smirk play at his lips."You don't get to laugh at me because he made me go get peanut butter ice cream and pickles. YOU had ot sit and play cards with him."He said glancing up as they were joined by a red headed groomsman.

Despite having been under two months, and seeing what his attack and slow recovery had done to Harry, Ronald Weasley was still completely unable to admit that he was maybe wrong about Nikolai. "And you, at least I didn't have to eat it with him."

"Nastiest thing ever."Draco complained under his breath as he glaned at his friend."At least Ronald and I only have to suffer small parts of his hormones."

"Yea, speaking of hormones, Harry thinks he's fat again and broke another mirror."Ron said shaking his head."Hermione is NOT helping. She's burst into giggles...I never should have given her that calming drought."

"Yes well, she needed it. I've never seen her cry before."Draco stated absently. "Scared the hell out of me."

"Only because she grabbed you and started yelling about you being a horrible person."Nikolai snickered, ignoring the look the other blond gave him.

"I AM a horrible person."Draco stated loftily."Nik!You're hair is should go see harry."He added, ignoring the urge to laugh.

"Not as horrible as me."Nikolai stated,"It is after all my hair. It's a impossible weapon."He said just as lofty as Draco."I better go tell him he's hurry up, I want to get married."He added before walking out.

Looking around the room as he stepped inside, he shooed Hermione out before looking at Harry."What's this I hear about you thinking you're fat?"He asked gently starting to do Harry's hair.

Harry sniffled, wiping his eyes as he looked up at him."I am!Look at me!I'm bigger then a watermelon!"He complained sniffling again."I'm fat, and ugly, and I can't stop crying and I'm scared you're going to get cold feet and leave me at the altar like on that movie we watched last night!"

"If I was going to run away, I would have done it months ago, Potter."He muttered gently tying harry's hair back before kneeling at his feet, gently pressing a kiss to Harry's stomach."You're beautiful and you have to be large for the kitten to grow."He said, despite his getting yelled at for his continued naming of the child, he couldn't help it. It was a baby kitten."Love, stop worrying."

Harry sniffled then growled, swatting Nikolai over the head."His name is not kitten!"He complained, sulking a little before smiling."You really don't think I'm fat?You don't think I'm all ugly?"He murmured gently biting the other's lip as he got kissed."Nik...what ARE we going to name the baby?"He asked suddenly looking down at his belly."He's kicking."

Nikolai smiled resting a hand on Harry's stomach as the baby kicked his hand."Kitten."he said lowering his head to rest his cheek against Harry's stomach."And your beautiful and not fat kitten."He purred absently rubbing his hands against Harry's tighs, knowing they had to get downstairs instead of giving into Harry's hormones. After they were supposed to be getting married."James Alexander."He added,growing serious looking up at Harry. Knowing their father's would approve, keenly missing his family for once, and regretting his parents not being able to be around for this.

"I love you Nik."He muttered softly, running his fingers through the other's hair as he stood up."We're going to be late for our own wedding!Get to the altar mister, and wait for me there!"He demanded flashing him a smll smirk."And when we get home, I'm gonna make Draco eat some nacho cheese with gummy worms, bacon bits, and whipped cream with me!He hasn't suffered yet!"

Nikolai smirked, kissing him again before getting up."Sounds good."He said walking out.

Harry smiled watching him go, "James Alexander. Alexander James...it's perfect."

Nikolai's smile widened when he saw his lover walking down the aisle, the tight knot in his stomach loosening as he reached for the other's hand. Despite being warned not to-by a few different people- he leaned forward and stole a kiss."I love you."He said before wincing, realizing he was being gooey and sappy in front of people.

Harry giggled as he accepted the kiss, smiling at his lover. His eyes shining with love, his eyes standing out from the eyeliner and eye shadow he was wearing."Look nik, we're getting married."

Nikolai nodded slightly, enticed by the makeup, staring at the other as they went through the ceremony, repeating his vows, as he gently stroked his fingers over the other's knuckles."I promise to love, honor and protect this man onto death, and to live for him as I walk through the shadows, because he is my light, the life that I longed for. He is my everything, he is my husband."He said taking the ring he'd had made for Harry from Draco sliding it onto the man's finger. Smiling at the gleaming ring, a delicate wrought crest, a mix of his and harry's, a reflection of their school houses, the mix of slytherin and gryffindor colors.

Harry smiled and took Nikolai's hand."You are my everything, my only, and the only one I will ever love."He murmured, Hermione bursting into tears, Ron fighting not to gag, and Draco struggled with his own laughter. These two were so gooey and sappy it was hysterical."You are the one who showed me my true self, the only one who knows me for me, and the one I love the most. You are my everyting Nik, and my always."He whispered, slipping the ring onto Nikolai's finger. Not waiting for the minister to say it, slamming their lips together, his eyes closing as he kissed him.

Nikolai moaned softly as Harry's hands landed on his hips, crushing him against him, ignoring the protests from Ron, and the snickers from away he blushed as he looked at the guests."Sorry."

Harry of course, grabbed Nikolai's ass in front of god, Merlin, and the entire guest population, giving it a good firm squeeze sine his belly was to big to grind against him."I didn't mind. It's kinda hot feeling you up in front of all these people."

"HARRY!"Hermione protested, making Harry laugh brightly, smirking a little as he stuck his tongue out.

"I'm married to the man I love!Now!Go away!I have a man to molest."

Nikolai snickered, walking out with him. Life was never going to be boring


	16. Babies

Nikolai snarled as he paced the room, alternating between standing at the door, and pacing. Acting like a caged wildcat, the russian was going insane with the need to get inside with his lover. Just hearing the screams as the other struggled to bring their child into the world was like a cheese grater on his nerves.

Finally, after hours of waiting the door swung open and a smiling doctor stepped out, nodding to Nikolai."'re a father."He stated leading him inside"Your husband is awake and healthy. The nurses are just finishing up, but you an come in and see them."He said, chuckling a little. Knowing the russian was about to get a surprise of a lifetime.

Harry smiled weakly from the bed, "I did it. I'm a daddy. I made life."He whispered softly.

"So you did."Nikolai smiled sitting on the edge of the bed.

A nurse came over, and gently settled the baby in the crook of Harry's arm."Nik I want you to meet James Alexander Belkov."He said softly, the other nurse coming over and settling another blue wrapped bby in the crook of Nikolai's arm."And Alexander James Belkov."He said wondering if the other was going to faint again."Your sons."

Nikolai's mouth opened and closed, staring at the sight of his husband and the two babies. Struggling for the words, for the first time in weeks, his voice broke on him. Refusing to get the words that clawed at his throat. Before settling the baby in harry's arms...then wondering why the floor looked so close to his face.

"Don't worry. We have that reaction more often then not, espicially when you're not expecting twins."The doctor laughed softly, helping Nikolai up off the floor and settling him on the bed again."He'll be fine in a few minutes."

Harry cracked up, laughing at the other's reaction with obvious humor. His eyes dancing with a almost sadistic amusement."Aww love, C'mere and give me a kiss."He ordered leaning forward and pressing his lips to Nikolai's, carefully supporting both babies in his arms with a small chuckle, shaking his head a little."You gonna be okay there Nik?"He asked gently transfering Alexander back into his arms."And don't worry about baby things, I already ordered them."

"I'll be fine...just..."He shrugged at a loss for words, smiling down at the baby that had his eyes. Pleased and content, before raising a eyebrow."You knew. You could have told me."

"Oh no I had to have this reaction recorded."He teased smirking as he gently nuzzled James, kissing his forehead."Besides, you enjoyed the surprise and you know little boys to carry on your name. Our name."

"Recorded?"He asked smiling at the idea of having sons. Yawning as he shifted the baby back into his lover's hold, stretching out next to him. Closing his eyes he yawned. Even after being healed for months, he hadn't recovered his endurance, and worry had taken alot of it out of him.

"You, me, and the babies...we're going to live long happy lives."He muttered, kissing Nikolai's neck."We're going to teach our babies all sorts of things. How to eat in five star resturants, how to spit, how to potty without missing, how to drive a car and ride a broom. And let Draco teach them how to insult someone in a classy way."

"I'm capable of teaching a classy insult."

"I know."Harry smiled starting to fall asleep."And we'll teach them to say I love you in parseletongue...and..."

Nikolai laughed softly at his husband, gently giving the babies to the nurses before cuddling into harry, settling down to sleep.

"...You know, for our first visitor, I'm amazed its you."The russian said with a grin as he sat up to study the blond sitting next to the bed.

Draco smirked a little, resting his cheek on his hand."Yes well, I heard potter had complications."He admitted watching the sleeping brunette."I made sure the weasleys weren't informed in case..."He fell silent for a moment, closing his eyes."I'm glad to see I was worried for nothing. How are you two doing?"

" to terms with the complications."He said sliding out of bed and walking to the cribs, lifting James up and handing him to Draco, before he picked up Alexander."These two are James and Alexander."He said smiling as he sat down in the chair net to Draco.

Draco looked down, hesitant at holding a baby, but cradled it gently, staring down with amazed eyes."Hello James."He said softly touching his forehead."I almost expected that scar to carry on. What about their eyes?Yours?His?"He asked sounding amused."They look just like you, like little tiny Nik's. They even have your lips and nose. It's almost frightening."

"But his eyes."Nikolai said, laughing softly."They're going to be devastating to the female population when they're old enough."he said laughing as he fed Alexander a bottle, rocking him a little."Don't be frightened. Everyone knows I'm so good there needed to be more perfect versions of me."

"Well at least they have Potter's head, yours is MUCH to large."He teased freezing when Harry groaned, sitting up.

Harry looked panicked for a minute before he realized that Draco and Nikolai had the babies in the rocking chairs. He had been terrified that Voldermort had put Nikolai under the imperius, or the man had taken off with them leaving Harry all alone again."Morning."

Draco smiled as Harry scowled at him, shifting James into Harry's arms."You're going to have to pop your husband's fat head potter. His ego is growing."

"Well of course it's growing. He's the perfect man!He's handsome, strong, good linage and rich. He has every right to a big ego. Exactly like you."

Draco groaned shaking his head."You two CERNTAINLY deserve each other."

Nikolai preened under his husband's praise, smiling happily."Of course we do. He tells me I'mm a beautiful ass, I let him know he's a soft hearted fool, who happens to accept me."He said with a playful smirk on his face, though it's true. Treasuring every moment because he was sure it'd end sometime. Even after all this, after the ties that bound them, he couldn't help the moments he woke in a cold sweat, haunted by dreams of losing Harry forever. Very glad that the brunette didn't know it, or at least he thought he didn't. Not realizing his husband had woken more than once during the nights he paced the house, prowling because he was to anxious to go back to sleep.

Harry smirked at his lover as he glanced at Draco."How come the twins aren't with you?"HE demanded his head tilted."I now I asked you not to tell Ron and Hermione yet but I thought..."

"They couldn't come."Draco started fidgeting, glancing anxiously at Nikolai, a sign that something was wrong.

Nikolai froze, worried for his friends. Pressing a kiss to Harry's head he slipped out of his chair, sliding a hand under Draco's arm before dragging him out of the room. Wanting to know what had happened but not wanting to upset Harry until he had to. Fear and worry on his face, wondering what he had cost his friends, by not being involved. For once feeling guilt over giving up the war, even if he wasn't stable enough to fight."What happened?"

"Voldermort became angry when he ound out you two had gotten married and that you hadn't died like he'd planned..."Draco said, that look of pure despair back in his eyes."Even angrier when he found out his people were vanishing...he went after the weasley's but the twins...they got everyone out and turned to take care of the rush of death eaters themselves. Fred has a concussion and a broken arm. George is in a coma, but they killed all the death eaters that'd gone after them...I never knew a weasley could cast so many dark spells."

"Apparently they can. Ron keeps threatening to curse me."He said, sounding guilty staring at the wall. Before looking over at Draco, rage filling those cold blue eyes. Wondering if he really could kill Voldermort, and knowing he needed to. And soon."Is he still staying at the manor?"He asked, tilting his head towards the other.

"Ron's actually starting to warm up to you. He looks more baffled than angry when he looks at you these days."He joked before closing his eyes, nodding a little."He's still there..."

Nikolai stared at his friend with eyes that saw to much. Eyes that saw just how tramatized the other was by Voldermort living with him. He knew the horror that his friend was going through because he wasn't mentally stable enough to go back. And he wouldn't survive it if he did."Give me 24 hours, and get your mother and yourself to my house. I'll let the wards down for you."He said already mentally preparing himself to go after a man who'd almost killed him. Despite being newly married, a new parent, he couldn't let hs friends suffer because he was to weak to face things.

"Harry wont like it."Draco warned softly biting his lip a little.

"Harry can speak for himself."The voice was tired, and the thin frame trembled as he walked. Leaning against Nikolai as the other held him up. Though he looked tired, his eyes were furious."Draco, do as Nikolai says. I want you to watch the babies, you and Narcissa."Harry would never LIKE them, but he would trust them. He knew Draco, he didn't like him, but he knew Draco well. He would make sure James and Alexander were safe if it was the last thing the blond did."If anything happens to us, Fred, George, and you get custody. Between the three of them, they'll be fine."

Nikolai snorted a little, looking at ease. Relaxing because he realized that Harry wasn't going to stop him. Lookng at Draco he smirked a little."Don't worry, I'll make sure we don't leave you to raise them. Can't raise a slytherin with those two."He yawned."Okay. Back to bed. We're going to rest."He said getting Harry back in bed.

"I'll tell Fred and George."Draco promised,"And I'll have my mother out on the hour. I've taken care of all his assassins..."He froze, realizing he'd just outted himself.

"You're viper!"harry demanded, gaping at the blond who just smirked and shrugged.

"Go rest with your family Harry."He said simply, moving to leave."I'll let Ron and Hermione know that you had the babbies."

"I already have the babies paperwork filled out, there wont be any legal problems if anything happens..."He admitted nodding, cuddling into Nikolai."Tomorrow...whenever we leave to face him...we're not going to die. Not if I can help it."

Nikolai smirked watching Draco go, wrapping his arms around his husband tightly."We wont die. I know we wont."He growled kissing him hard. Determined to survive, because he had a family to live for now. Smirking wilder as he looked at Harry."You hadn't realized who Draco was?Does it make you like him any better?"He teased.

"He's still a bloody git."He sneered scowling at the door."But he's ALWAYS been a LOYAL annoying git."He stated simply shaking his head."I've always known that somehow, even as he wasinsulting me, and we were hating each other,tht he was on my side, no matter who his father was."He stated simply, snuggling into Nikolai."I need to sleep, and so do you."

"As my master commands."Nikolai smiled sleepily.

In the early morning light, Nikolai sighed slipping out of bed,pacing the room. Rubbing a hand over his face, he wondered ifhe was brave enough, strong enough to do what was needed. He knew with utter certainity that he knew how to make Voldermort careless enough to let Harry kill him. After all, Voldermort wanted to kill Harry, to permanantly break him, what better way then to kill the man he loved. Shuddering at the idea ofbeing bait to a trap, he swallowed, trying to think of how to tell Harry.

"Nik?NIK!"Came Harry's terrified voice from the room. Nikolai was gone. He had to find him...but that would leave the babies defenseless...he didn't know what to do.

Nikolai stepped back into the room, looking pained and confused. Not sure how to bring up what he was thinking, yet he walked over pressing a kiss to Harry's lips."Yes love?"He said sitting on the edge of the bed, stroking his hand over the other's hand to calm him.

"I thought..."He muttered cutting himself off as he buried his face in the other's chest,"I'm being irrational. No one could get you here..."He murmured softly, looking up at the other as a hesitant knock came at the door. Ron and Hermione stding there looking nervous.

"Is it a bad time?"Ron asked nervously.

"No no, come on in and meet your nephews."Harry said smiling.

"Nephews?As in...plural?"Hermione demanded wide eyed as Harry snickered.

Nikolai smirked looking at the two, tilting his head."Yes. You get to look at two miniature's me's. They're perfect."He grinned picking up James slowly, the baby settling easily into his arms.

Hermione beamed at him, Ron grimacing a little before making a HA sound."They have Harry's eyes."The red head chirped, squealing in terror as he found himself suddenly holding a baby.

"What are you doing?I'll drop it!"Ron squealed as Harry settled the baby in his arms."It'll pee on me. Take it back."

"Oh ronald, you're such a wimp."Hermione stated rolling her eyes as she gently picked up Alexander."Oh Harry they're gorgeous. Hello there, I'm your auntie Hermione."She purred grinning."And this idiot is your uncle Ron."

Snickers errupted through the room when Alexander wailed at the sight of his uncle, even Harry struggling not to laugh at his friend. Nikolai snickered, laughing at the weasley, as he took his son back, calming him quickly."Look Harry, our son's already showing good taste."He said leaning down to kiss the baby's head, sitting down on the bed.

Harry snorted as he tried to keep from laughing at his best friend who huffed angrily."Oh calm down Ron, you just scared him."

"He'll love you just as much as he loves any of his uncles."Hermione reassured the man."Wont he Nikolai?"

"Of course they will."Harry chirped before Nikolai could say anything, looking almost sadistic."I named Draco primary godfather."

"YOU DID WHAT?"Ron demanded outraged.

"Ron!"Hermione winced, as the babies started to cry.

Nikolai glared a little as he got up, cradling his sons as he calmed them."Draco is my best friend. He has the money, and the desire to protect them if it comes to that. The wards to my house are sent to him, so he's perfect."He said sneering, the underlying words being that Ron would never have wards set to him. Nikolai'd kill someone before he gave Weasley free rein of his house.

Ron sulked a little, crossing his arms as he glared at the floor, muttering angrily.

Harry smiled a little as he took a baby from Niklai, feeding James a bottle as he looked at the red head."Fred and George are godparents as well."

"...I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why them and not us?"

"You're trying to start your own family Ron, if my babies are suddenly pushed on you, your relationship with Hermione, and hopes for kids would fall apart."

Ron looked startled, then relieved. Having expected something else."No matter what, we'll always be there. For all four of you."Ron said, his eyes fixed on Nikolai."IF you ever need anything, do hesitate to call."

Nikolai looked taken aback at the acceptence, tilting his head."I wont."He ran a hand through his hair getting up."We probably should go."

Harry nodded a little as he picked up James."To your house first, check that Draco and Narcissa got there. Get some sleep, and plan."He said tilting his head as the other two apparated out, before looking at Nikolai.

Nikolai nodded, his stomach tightening. This was going to be so bad.


	17. Battles

"Oh they're beautiful Nik."Narcissa cooed as she walked down the stairs, smiling as she took Alexander from Nikolai. She'd adopted her son's friend as her own, having seen the loneliness in his eyes, seen how very alone the Belkov heir was. Glad that he had finally found walke down slower, tilting his head slightly. The way he held himself he was really hurting, probably raped by Voldermort to give his mother enough time to leave the house.

A quiet rge filled Harry's eyes as he looked at the Malfoy heir, before looking at Narcissa."Mrs. Malfoy, I know we've never been on the best of terms, but I will bed if I have to. I need your help, the rumors says that you know Voldermort's habits better then anyone... is it true?"He felt horrible, making her relive her hell, but he needed to know everything if he was going to end this.

Pain filled the woman's eyes, smiling painfully as Nikolai wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her head. She nodded slightly, resting her head on his chest, the baby cradled gently between them."What do you need to know?"She said in a soft broken whisper, ignoring the trembling in Nikolai's muscles, knowing it wasn't fear that made him shake, but rage.

"Everything."Harry said gently touching her arm."Everything you can bear to share."

Harry made dinner as he let Narcissa talk, having found it easier not to see the pain in her face, or his helpless rage reflected in Nikolai or Draco's face. He found their tale disturbing at best, and he was no closer to finding a way to kill Voldermort. So to ease his tension and nerves he was cooking a time consuming meal, letting his mind go through the motions as his mind chewed over the problem.

Narcissa quieted, sobbing softly as she leaned into her son's arms, seeing the cold fury on Nikolai's face as he paced. As bad as a caged panther, who knew fresh meat was just beyond his reach,but he couldn't get it."That's all. I don't know anymore."

Nikoali growled as he left the room. Needing the space, because he had a idea, and had to do it. He'd sacrifice more then he'd been willing to, and wondered if he could live with himself for asking. If he lived through the experience at all.

Harry nodded a little as he handed her a freshly sliced piece of bed, the butter melting on the steaming surface."I am so didn't derve to be punished, you didn't deserve that."He slowly hugged her, letting her cry on his shoulder."I am so sorry..."He added again, because there was nothing else to say. straightening, he gently eased her back into Draco's arms."Eat then rest, you deserve it. I need to talk to Nikolai."He said following Nikolai out, looking at the blond man as he paced their bedroom.

"I have a idea...and you're not going to like it at all."

Nikolai looked at him, walking towards him, resting his hands on his husband's shoulders, nuzzling his neck."I don't like my idea either but tell me what you think, and we'll see which I like less."He said shuddering a little. He was afraid, so very afraid of facing a man who'd nearly destroyed him once. He really didn't want to do it again.

"I'm going to offer myself to him."Harry said swallowing thickly. Staring at Nikolai, eeding him to understand."I can 'dim' my magic, make myself look weak. He might torture me a little but I can kill him, if I have an advantage I can kill him. Taking him by surprise is one of them...that's why I studied to become a unregistered animagus, so Voldermort wouldn't know. I studied even harder to be able to use my magic while in animagus form...all I have to do is go to him, and we've won."

Nikolai swallowed hard, hating it and hating himself for it. Hating that he couldn't think of something better." I'll be waiting for you. you get in trouble, you call."

Harry gripped the blond tightly,holding him close, pressing his face against his shoulder."I think...I think Draco will take me in. Out of all of his followers, everyone knows Draco's the only one who had a chance of catching me. It will prove his loyalty should...I need you to tell him. He wont agree if I ask him, if only to piss me off."

Nikolai laughed softly."He's not that bad.I'll ask him."He said pressing a kiss to Harry's head.

"I need a favor."

"...I'm not going to like this favor am I?"He demanded before sighing."What is it?"

One of Draco's biggest flaws, no matter what the other asked him, he couldn't say no. A fact Harry hadn't missed, though Nikolai was thankfully oblivious.

"No, you're not."Nikolai said as he tilted his head."I need...you to take Harry to the manor."He added, staring at the floor, fear and anger showing on his face.

Draco's eyes went wide as he stared at Nikolai for a long, long moment. "...Why?"He demanded his voice barely above a whisper."Why would you ask me that of all things? He'll kill him Nik, he'll kill me and then he'll...this was potter's idea."

Nikoali growled softly angry."Yes it is, and if I could go and be sure to come home, I'd go instead of ...I wont survive, I can't. Even healed, there's a weakness in my magic, a sharp edge that's still a weapon against me. I know it's mostly healed, but I'm not what I'd need to be to kill him."He said, fially admitting to the truth he'd known for months, admitting to the one person he knew wouldn't tell Harry."So get Harry in as your prisoner, and if...you'll still have a safeguard so you wont be found a traitor."

"Fine...I'll take him."Draco said through gritted teeth, shaking his head a little."I hate you for it, but I'll do it. I don't want to go back...but if there's even the slightest chance that potter can kill him...and he wants to try...then I'll go."

Nikolai walked around his desk, wrapping his arms around the blond, "Hate me and survive. I'd rather you hate me and then not to be alive to tell me about it. Bring him home...One...way or another."He said swallowing the tears that threatened to fall. Knowing he was about to break down, but with Draco he could, with Harry, as much as he loved him, right now he couldn't. Because Harry needed him to be strong.

Draco held him tightly gently stroking the other blond's hair, sighing a little."There is no way I would let him die. I'm to dependant on you both to let him die."He promised softly. He needed thee two to be okay, to know that sometimes love could work out."Stay here with your children Nik. Eat the food Harry made, mourn the decisions and situations you've gone through, and when Harry and I come backvictorious, you can finally have the freedom you wanted."

"Such arrogance."He said with no real heat to it, stepping back from his friend as he looked at him."I'll go tell him."He muttered heading for the door.

Harry nodded a little when the other walked in, knowing that the smaller blond had said yes. He might apologize later for abusing Draco's weakness, but for the moment, it was what he needed. Getting up he wrapped his arms around the other."It'd be best if you went to the kid's room.I'm going to have to have Draco rough me up little...I don't want you to see. I WILL come bac, I will protect our family. And I will slander Dumbledore's name as we get drunk with celebration booze."He promised kissing the other fiercely."I love you nik. Now go on."

Watching the other move out of the room again, he sighed softly as he cast the silencing charm.

"My lord, I have found Potter."Draco called softly as he dragged the brunette through the dining hall, the gag muffling Harry's screams even as he fought against his bonds.

Voldermort smiled a little as the blond man bowed, "You have done well Draco...you shall be rewarded."He said before looking at Harry._How is my whore?Does he spread his legs for you as easily as he did for me?Ah, I'm going to enjoy killing Nikolai._ He hissed as he walked closer, tangling his hand in the brunette's hair, pulling his head up.

Draco smiled a little as he bowed, even if things went wrong now, Draco would not be blamed for it. Bowing again, he took his leave and made his way into the circle of death eaters watching as his friend hissed in pain.

_"Nik is dead you bastard. Are you happy now?You've aken everyone I loved from me!First my parents, then Cedric, Sirius, and now even Nik. Torture me then, I know you will. Rape me... beat me...I have no will to live anymore. Just grant me my last request...I want to stare at you, I want to see you while you do it...so you can see the defiane in my eyes, so you can see I do not fear you."_

Voldermort stared at him, smirking."So, not even Nikolai was loyl enough to stay.."He said meeting the other's eyes.

The flash of magic raced through the air, Harry's mind slamming into Voldermort's so hard, a sane man would have crumbled. Many of the death eaters fell in front of the pain, Draco included, as Harry's bonds snapped, the thick well honed claws of a panther ripping through Voldermort's face. Voldermort's screams filling the air as he struggled to get the cat off him, tried to stop him from tearing out his throat Distracted by the pain to the point that he forgot about magic.

Harry roared as his fangs found the man's shoulder, shaking his head furiously. Before moving on, ripping the man apart befre he shifted back. Spitting out the blood he looked down at the dying dark 's still alive...we were married three months ago. You have no life, no love, and no heir. Your reign ends here."He said before whispering the killing curse, moments before darkness filled his world.

Nikolai glared at the door as he paced the sitting room, having been kiked out of the nursery by Narcissa. Pacing as he waited for his husband and friend to come home, even as agony threatened to pull him under as Harry's magic found the death eaters. Starting at the loud crack and boom of someone shattering the wards, and then apparating into the room.

Draco grinned as he looked up at the shocked blond, smirking. He was covered in blood, but he was grinning."Harry did it!Harry killed him!You should have seen it!He looked right at him, told him you lived, and that he had everything the dark lord ever wanted, and killed him!It was...it was..."He rambled, in shock.

Nikolai laughed delightedly, as he took his husband from the blond, holding him close. Helping both of them into the other room and into the bed, crawling in next to them. Needing to hold them, to know that they both lived."You're rambling Draco."He said stroking Draco's hair, ignoring the blood and grime.

"Harry was amazing."Draco repeated, a grin on his face before he passed out.

"Uh...I hurt...so I must not be dead yet..."Harry muttered staring up at the ceiling."Unless hell has the same ceiling as Nik's."

"Nah, hell's not nearly this pretty."Nikolai said sleepily, raising his head from where it was pillowed on Draco's shoulder, his body wrapped around Harry. Looking awkward with holding them both. Having in his sleep to make sure that they were both alive.

Harry scowled as he raised his head,spotting the smaller blond resting on the other side of his blond husband."No."He protested, crossing his arms."..well okay, but only on Sundays AND I get to watch."

"...my head hurts.."Draco groaned from the other side of the bed.

"Sorry about that ferret, couldn't have you stand out, or you'd look guilty."

"Liar, you just wanted to hear me scream."

"Well that to."

Nikolai wrinkled his nose watching the two of them."Sadist. And...ew...I love you Draco, but...no."Nikolai said rolling his eyes as he laid back down with his head on Harry's chest."You should go see your mother."

"my limbs are mushy."Draco grumbled."I can't move."

"Oh yea, temporary paralysis. Don't worry that'll wear off."

"Couldn't have the few remaining death eaters getting away now could we? Come on Nik, lets go to the other room."

Nikolai snickered, walking out with him."Sadist."He restated with a smirk.


	18. Birthday Memories

**A year Later**

Nikolai yawned as he stretched out on the floor, looking over at the other blond s he grinned. It hadn't been how he'd thought he'd spend his 23rd birthday, but it was pretty amazing."Hey Dray, how is it we can run grown men into the ground, outclass anyone that chases up, put up with Harry and we find ourselves being beaten by toddlers?"He asked, looking at the twins sleeping on their chests.

Having spent the day with his best friend, he was looking forward to a quiet evening with his husband. Relaxing, happy and tired as they waited for Harry and everyone else to return for dinner. Having gotten babysitting duty so the others could get some things from town before the party.

"Speak for yourself."Draco smirked, looking at him. Freedom had been good for him, who suddenly had sprouted tall and thin, his face growing less feminine, and more angelic. He had people swooning over him at all times, even the twins were hitting on him now. He didn't look the least bit tired, but then he was more than used to more rambucitious kids then the usually calm twins. Having adopted three, and raising them by himself, he was used to being run into the ground. At five, six, and even the kids were horrible tyrants, not that he'd change them for anything. Though he knew why Nikolai was bitching, having never gained the endless energy back even after Voldermort was dead.

He smiled a little as he looked down at James, his earring dangling and flashing in the light."I'm shocked tht Ron finally proposed to Hermione. Did you know he passed out when she said yes?"

"Which leaves me with so many jokes to make. I told him he'd better take her to St. Mungo's to get checked into the mental ward for insanity."He said smirking as his son reached for Draco's earring, leaning his head back to look at his husband and the weasley's as they apparated into the room."Love, tell Draco he looks tired. He should look tired."

Harry smirked a little."Well you should have humped him harder then."He stated simply at his lover as Ron made gagging noises and Draco huffed.

"I'll have you know that Nik is excellent in bed. It's not MY fauilt if I have better stamina then he."The blond stated loftly.

"Well then maybe we should let the twins have a go at you to, eh whore?"

"I'm prolific, not a whore."

"You're a whore."Harry, Fred, George, Ron, and Hermione chroused making Draco scowl. It wasn't untrue, he just didn't like being teased about it. He usually had a new bed partner every week.

"You make a streetwalker look like a virgin."Nikolai said as he leaned over,stealing a kiss, just to surprise him as he scampered to his feet. Teasing aside, he hadn't ever slept with the other man. He just enjoyed teasing his husband into being jealous...the sex was always so much better on those nights. And having long convinced Drao to go along with the charade, though he sometimes wondered if Harry had guessed at the game. Then he remembered the nights when the brunette had been truly jealous. Kissing Harry as he wrapped his arms around the other."So, do I get my birthday present now?"

"Take care love, for fear of a tiger is no match for the rage of a panther."Harry taunted, and was in fact glaring at the taller blond."No. You don't get your birthday present yet."

"Whhhhyyyy?"

"You can have it in about nine months."Harry smirked, his eyes teasing as he set the man's slender hands on his stomach."I've been told it's of the female variety this time."

Hermione gasped her hands clapping over her mouth."Oh Harry!You're pregnant again!And didn't tell me?"

Nikolai amazingly enough, managed not to pass out this time, wrapping his arms around his husband. Nuzzling his cheek."I love you."He muttered,biting his ear gently."And I haven't slept with Draco."

Hating to upset his husband, worried about what it would do to the baby, hugging him tighter. He'd been willing to play games when it was just his own hide on the line, but he wouldn't endanger his daughter.

"If my daughter comes out blond, I'm killing Draco."Harry purred biting down on the other's er hard enough to draw blood."And then YOU will be severely punished...Besides Draco leaves marks when he fucks people, just ask blaise."

When Draco had learned of Harry's rape by the slytherin, hed dealt with him himself. Using a whip and a blade to scar and generally maim the other. Though he assumed it was a good thing Nikolai never knew who it'd been who'd raped him, otherwise Blaise would have found a quiet grave instead of just a padded room in the psych ward."Besides, I did tell you that you could have him on Sundays...but I still get to watch."

Nikolai shuddered a little, nuzzling his neck."I know, but I just want you."He muttered hands trailing over his body, growling."Can we skip the party?I want a private dinner. And send the kids home with Draco. He'll enjoy 're normal, unlike his loves them to."he added in a growl, wanting his husband to himself on his birthday instead of having to share with their children."Only you."

Harry purred loudly, "Only you, my light forever."He whispered, kissing his lover before shooing everyone else out. Draco laughing at them as he gathered all the kids to take to the manor. Harry smiled as he looked up at his husband, knowing that he was in for a long night. Though if Nikolai wasn't careful, one baby would turn into three. He laughed, kissing him, truly happy.

Nikolai smiled, wrapping his arms aroun was grand, and they had a lifetime of memories waiting for them.


End file.
